Teacher says:

hi all to my new crummy teaching life as trainee at Convent Pulau Tikus. (no the sch is not infested with mice or rodents running about)

the horrible,big fat, undeniable truth is dawning upon me:

I'm TURNING INTO MY MOTHER!!!

for those who dont know- my mother is a Bahasa Malaysia language teacher (head of panitia and class teacher) while my father is a sch principal.

Crap man...i have grown up detesting all the work my parents bring home and laughed when they were slow in marking, keying in records in computer or complained about student's chicken claw writings.

sadly yes, my life has taken a disasterous turn and the cards are on me now!!

my life is now D-e-d-i-c-a-t-e-d  to marking books, worrying about next day lessons, worrying about student's welfare and tons, millions of photostating!!

Sigh, i'm even becoming "SKEMA" (rigid and bookworm-ish) like her..my gosh, when did this dark transformation take place? while i was asleep or dying in my work? 

ME- sandra the playful and all cherry turning gloomy and nerdy?...

My form 2 girls are not so clever but they are adorable and still obedient. what they lack in  studies they make up in good character. My form 4 girls are super smart and sometimes i feel in-daunted and inferior when teaching their class. My form 1 girls are sadly still kids and are super cheeky and ask really silly questions at times. its so hard to memorise EVERYBODY's name and attend to their levels and needs and brace myself for other sch related work!

its TOO MUCH workload and responsiblity and i'm TOO POOR , not paid (photostatting costing me rm200 plus so far) and TOO DEMOTIVATED!!

" "they say many are called but few are chosen"

so, is teaching my calling?

Is this what i can do to give God glory?

Is this what i am passionate about?

can i continue this life for the next 35 years or so?

 When will the negative feelings go away and stop stressing about what to teach?

and When will i ever stop freaking out that my lecturer will suddenly spot check on me anyday?

 Oh God, please throw a coconut on my head and wake me up and show me the right way!!