'Mayhem Motel': Home of sex, violence, mimes, and puke baths

Mayhem Motel (2001)
Starring: Matthew Biancaniello, Sarah Berkowitz, Lorene Scafaria, David Langley, and Ray Jarrell
Director: Karl Kempter
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

"Mayhem Motel" defies summary. It is a collection of vignettes that are scrambled together to tell the story of a night of sex, murder, mayhem, and just plain weirdness. If one were to attempt to make sense of the film in order to take away a point to it, one would have to conclude the film was made to convey the messages that one should always keep one's motel room door bolted, and that sex with strangers kills--not because of venereal disease, but because of knives and guns. Oh, and there's also the moral that one shouldn't ever piss off a dwarf.

This is a film that is 100% unique viewing experience--and for that the world should be grateful.

First of all, "Mayhem Motel" contains the single most disgusting scene I've ever witnessed on film. It was so gross that I almost stopped the DVD when it occurred. The second scene of the movie has a character named Pukey in the credits (played by David Langley) settling into a tub and puking into the bathwater. He then proceeds to stir the water and vomit around him as he sits there. Whether that was actual vomit or some REALLY convincing special effects (and my money is on actual vomit... it simply too convincing not to be), the scene is so disgusting that it put me off my dinner. It almost put me off the rest of movie, but since it was so early on, I felt obligated to stick with it just a little longer. (As it turned out, I watched the whole thing.)

Second, "Mayhem Motel" is almost entirely plot-free. Each vignette has something of a story to it, but for each plot that is brought to an almost-conclusion, there are two that are left hanging, giving the overall movie a feel of a short story collection rather than a complete film. And I don't mean a collection of short films... I mean a collection of scenes like the ones you might have students write if you were teaching a writing workshop. They're interesting, they're pretty raw, but they're also for the most part utterly pointless except for invoking a momentary reaction in the viewer. While this approach did keep me watching, it's not one that I would want to see become commonplace.

That said, this film does feature some good acting, decent dialogue, and it moves along at a fast pace (with only the mime scene dragging a bit). The filmmakers obviously know their craft, and they know that they should put exactly what a scene needs onto the screen, and not a second more. Add that the fact that there are several hilarious moments (like both instances of a character choking to death during sex--in the "I know I shouldn't be laughing at this but I can't help" kind of way), and the end result is a movie that I find myself liking far more than is probably healthy.

Maybe my brain has finally rotted away due to all the Z-grade movies I watch? If "Mayhem Motel" had just a little more structure to it--the priest who we're introduced to at the beginning of the film should have been seen leaving the motel at daybreak the next day--I may even have given it a Seven-Star rating.

Although I still don't feel comfortable recommending anyone see it--although if you get it as part of the "Mental Maniacs" multi-DVD set as I did, you might as well give it a try--I still think but that "Mayhem Motel" has some impressive qualities to it. It MIGHT also be a suitable screener for a Bad Movie Night, if you have the right crowd. (I know that I'd never show this film to anyone *I* socialize with, but then I don't know everyone.)

2-fer-1: 'The Crawlspace' and 'The Red Cell'

Up today, are reviews of two horror films from the very talented Chris Schwartz. Unfortunately, he seems to have stopped making movies after finishing these two efforts.


The Crawlspace (2006)
Starring: Chris Schwartz, Jason Hastings, and Julian Peck
Director: Chris Schwartz
Steve's Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Mike (Schwartz) wakes up in a filthy, cramped space. A phone rings, he answers... and he discovers that he's been kidnapped and imprisoned by a psycho (who calls himself "The Director") intent on playing mind- and torture-games with him.

"The Crawlspace" is a surprisingly effective low-budget (well, probably no-budget) entry into the mysteriously popular "torture" horror subgenre that's emerged in recent years. Think "Blair Witch Project" meets "Saw", and I believe you'll have a sense of the general look and feel of this picture.

Chris Schwartz, who, according to the credits, did everything on this film but grind and install the lenses on the cameras, not only manages to convey the claustrophobic environment of the film's setting, but he gives a performance that's amazingly good, given what is typically found in small-budget indie pictures. Further, Schwartz seems to be a filmmaker who understands how to work within the limits of his means. The film he's set up here is almost perfect for a film shot on a partial shoestring budget, and Schwartz concentrates his resources and efforts on creeping the audience out with what he has on hand. Based on this film, I think he could probably do wonders with a four-figure budget, and I hope to find more films by him in the future.

That's not to say this is a perfect movie. Part of the film only works because of Stupid Character Syndrome, some of the sound effects needed a little more work, and the film could have used a stronger ending. But, these flaws are far from fatal, and the good outweighs the bad here, making this a picture that's worth seeing.

"The Crawlspace" is another movie that earns a spot on my "Free Advice for Low-Budget Filmmakers" list. If you're dreaming about making a movie with the change you just scooped out of the fountain at the mall, this is an example of how it's done, and it's a movie you have to see.


The Red Cell (2007)
Starring: Donovan Schwartz
Director: Chris Schwartz
Steve's Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Ayden (Donovan Schwartz) wakes up in a shabby basement where the walls are lined with cardboard and the only window has a strong electrical current running through it. He soon discovers that he has been abducted by a gasmask-clad maniac who is committed to curing him of his lethal cancer through a variety of hideous tortures.

"The Red Cell" does what most of the "capture and torture" movies fail to do. It generates genuine mystery and even some confusion (of the good kind, not the kind arising from a poorly executed flick) for the viewer to resolve as they watch. Has Ayden truly been kidnapped by some crazy man who fancies himself in possession of a miracle cure, or are all the horrible things that gasmask-clad figure--who sneaks in and out of a sealed room with ease--something that's simply a product of Ayden's sick body and brain? The film also has a dimension of psychological horror that so far I haven't seen any other of the sub-genre even come close to featuring.

I thought I knew exactly where the film was going, but then Schwartz throws in a twist-ending that made gave me a "Wow!" feeling that someone who watches entirely too many movies (like, oh, me) only rarely has. Schwartz, in one stroke, showed that not only can a talented and creative filmmaker do something VERY worthwhile artistically with the "capture and torture" genre, but he actually managed to make a film that deserves to be considered along side not only the "greats" of this sub-genre, but should be included when considering good horror films in general.

What's even more remarkable, Schwartz made his film on a tiny fraction of what the other wide release examples of the "tortured captive" genre are made on, and probably even less than the majority of the low-budget direct-to-DVD examples of it.

"The Red Cell" is currently seeking distribution, and it's a film that deserves to be seen by as wide an audience as possible. It's not a perfect film--it's a little too slow at times, driving home Ayden anguish and suffering well past the point where the audience has gotten it and the scene starts getting tedious--but it's one that horror movie fans will appreciate. Particularly those fans who are looking for something a little different.

'Before I Die' is a weak anthology

Before I Die (2003)
Starring: Dawn Murphy, David Lee, M. Catherine Holseybrook, Nancy Felciano, Phil Herman, Gusto Perez, and Brock Richards
Directors: Dave Castiglione and Dawn Murphy
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

I love anthology films because one can expect that some part of them is going to be good--if a particuarly segment is lame, that's okay, because it'll be short and there's promise of something better coming right up.

With "Before I Die", that promise is hinted at, but it never materializes. There's nothing in this film that rises above mediocre and boring.

"Before I Die" is a horror anthology film that consists of three stories and a framing sequence. The frame involves a short story writer (Herman) struggling to meet a deadline. As he comes up with ideas, and starts pounding his keyboard, the film relates the stories he write to us.

It's not a bad concept for a frame and it's a more natural-feeling way to present the stories than in many anthology films I've seen... heck, it's a better way than those used in some of my favorites, such as "The House that Dripped Blood". Unfortunately, the complete lack of energy that Phil Herman brings to the role of the writer manages to make the interludes a bit tedious, despite some interesting camerawork and smooth transitions.

The first story ("Time for Dessert") follows a woman (Holseybrook) and her chubby-chasing stalker (Perez) who is appalled that she seems be pick up every guy she meets but him. He finally gets his date with her, and uncovers her dark secret. While the attempt at presenting an overweight woman as sexy is something rarely seen, and I give the filmmakers a little consideration for that, there is virtually no story here, less tension, and long make-out scenes do not make for interesting viewing.

Next up, we have "The Last Resort", which is a tale of an average pair of newlyweds (Murphy and Lee) who find themselves as the only guests at a luxury resort that doesn't exist. This one had all the potential to be a fine ghost story, but it's potential is sapped by an overlong running that's padded with boring scenes of average honeymoon-couple lovemaking, bad camerawork, and even worse sound recording. My guess is the only microphone on-set was mounted on the Camcorder used to film the scenes, and ther are many times when it picks up so much ambient noise that the dialogue is nearly drowned out. The "shock ending" is also entirely too long in coming and is delivered in a painfully clumsy fashion. Still, there are a couple of moments when the potential that is hiding within this poorly done short manage to show themselves, and Murphy and Lee mostly do a decent job on the acting front.

Closing out "Before I Die", we have "Someone is Sleeping in My Bed." It's a confused mini-slasherflick where a maniac killer murders some trick-or-treaters, and then breaks into the house of a spicy dish (Feliciano). It's a weird little film, with dreams sequences, an odd phone call, and a strangulation murder that's done with as much style as can be expected from a film on this level. It might have actually been a worthwhile effort if someone had bothered writing a coherent script. I suppose they thought the bare skin would carry the day.

When "Before I Die" wrapped up (with a blending of the film's reality and fiction that is driven home so hard that I'm not sure if the filmmakers think their audience is stupid, of if they have no faith in their own abiliites to get their meaning across), I felt a mixture of disapointment and boredom. I doubt your reaction will be much different.