new sem new fear

as i sat in class today it felt like the most normal thing to do and yet i felt so so lost..

WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!!! 

i feel so trapped! so forced to do things i don't wanna do!
i didn't know what was the lecturer babbling and my head was bobbing to sleep and classmates were busy chattering away like monkeys.

in less than a year i would be out there working my ass off like a monkey in school already..
thinking about the work and the ppl i have to face in life DAILY is killing me slowly (some mentioned in earlier blogs)
i dont want this kind of life, study, get a job, marry, produce replica's of me, grow old and die!
classmates ask what the secret is to loosing weight which i did- i simply replied STRESS, clowning, CONFLICTS and LESS rice eating! its not a nice price to pay waking up thinking abt the ppl u hate and the ppl who hate u..

on a happier note,

i can foresee this sem would be filled with tons of nonsense field work in schools, sleepless nights of assignments, money problems, clowning, relationships tested again and again, friendships built and strained, anger, resentment, happiness,eating and shopping, fear and all sorta emotions crumpled into me like a piece of paper crushed into a ball! the plus point is i never have to do it all alone.

growing old is not fun with responsibilities n conflicts.

If u believe in a thing called God please pray for me time to time to keep my sanity!! would appreciate it tons!

i have faith in God, love from family, support from frens back in hometown, in uni and blogger readers like u guys!!