"My dad owned an Indian takeaway and they
used to eat everything with their hands.
- Big Brother contestant
"I heard some Indian people eat with
their hands still" - Oprah Winfrey.
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POPBITCH _ _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 26.07.12 ISSUE 604
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
Send us stories - email: hello@popbitch.com
* Belend - a star is born
* More rock 'n' payroll
* Charts: Florence ATM/Calvin still no 1
-----------------------------------------------
>> Kris quiz <<
Fun and games with the Kardashians
Split rumours suddenly circle around
the Matriarch of the Kardashian
money-machine and her mild-mannered
Olympic medal winning husband, after
Kris is spotted out with her ex-bf.
So, your starter for 10, is this...
(a) A publicity stunt
(b) Kris's attempt to finally answer
the question of just who is a worse
showbiz mother than Dina Lohan, Lynne
Spears and Patti "Bieber" Malette.
(c) Connected to rumours that the husband
likes a spot of cross-dressing?
p.s. don't write in, it's just for fun!
-----------------------------------------------
Kim Kardashian's first boyfriend was TJ
Jackson - the new guardian of Jacko's kids.
-----------------------------------------------
>> Hello Dolly! <<
Celeb baby's muted payday
So Chantelle and Alex Reid finally
revealed their baby's name - Dolly.
The celeb weeklies claimed they'd
been told it would cost them an
arm and a leg for the Big Name
Reveal interview. So weeks went by,
and nothing happened. Finally on
Tuesday, Chantelle revealed all in
her bog-standard New magazine column.
Coincidentally, this was the the
last publication date before the
42 days limit before you have to
legally register your baby's name,
and therefore anyone could publish it.
FYI: Still - you've got to give them
credit. If you were a cross-dresser
with a dubious sexual reputation, like
being done up the arse with a vodka
bottle by Jordan, you couldn't have
done much better than name your
daughter after Ms Parton. Wonder
what else was on the shortlist...
Liza? Dorothy? Cher?
-----------------------------------------------
Manics for Eurovision? Nicky Wire tweeted
"Love the Baltic, its beauty and friendliness.
Think we should write a song for Eurovision,
restore the UK's reputation".
-----------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Remember the Jubilee concert? Well,
when many of the bands turned up
for the dress rehearsal they were
told they'd only be able to mime
rather than play live. So which
group of nutters decided to take advantage
and got in an immediate order of
class As. And got off their tits
before taking the Buck Palace stage.
*********************************************
Be creative with words and celebrate the games
by simply picking a word. Like Gold, Bolt or
Transport Chaos. Adopt a word with the charity
I CAN - the perfect present that also helps a
child with communication difficulties.
http://www.adoptaword.com
*********************************************
>> More rock 'n' payroll <<
Making fun of corporate pop
After G4S, Ernst and Young and KPMG
we just didn't think corporate songs
could get any better.
How wrong we were. Enjoy these...
1 Burnley Building Sociey
Lyrics by Salman Rushdie, no less.
2. Bank of America
A new version of U2's One. Unbelievable.
3. Cap Gemini
Inspirational
4. HSBC
Weirdly, no mention of money laundering
To listen and see the full top 10:
http://bit.ly/LPw7xy
-----------------------------------------------
Nicole Scherzinger's personal trainer says
"Eat nothing white after 6pm".
-----------------------------------------------
>> Twitter twits <<
We're (not) going to Ibiza
Sony UK used their twitter feed to offer
a competition to see Plan B at Ibiza
Rocks on Wednesday. They left it a bit
late - tweeting at 10.34 on Monday morning
to one lucky tweeter, Jessie, that she'd won.
Jessie, however, was in a long work
meeting, so at 4pm Sony picked a new
winner - Jack - with the proviso he
send his details, get time off work
etc within the hour. At 5.30 - nothing
from Jack, who was also at work. So
they say they need to pick a new
winner... and they're in the process
of this when Jack finds out. Two
hours later he manages to get in
touch with Sony and - good for him -
gets his trip. By this time Jessie
thinks she's won and is on Twitter
hoping to claim her now-lost prize.
So, one small attempt to "energise
the Sony UK fan base" through
social media, one whole day of
alienating music fans.
----------------------------------------------
The girl's name with the biggest jump in
popularity in the US in 2011 was Briella.
Possibly after a hairdresser in a reality
TV show called Glam Fairy.
----------------------------------------------
>> Tomkatballs <<
Suri cruises to a new career
The amount of hot air that has been
created by the Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes
divorce is probably enough to melt
the last of the polar ice-caps.
And final proof that the world is
completely going to the dogs? One
story claims that Suri Cruise
is about to become an author of
children's books. Because she likes
to make up stories and colour in drawings.
When that is done she is expected to
design her first range of clothing.
Suri Cruise is aged six.
*********************************************
>> Summer Shopping <<
1. 50 shades of Grey T shirt
http://bit.ly/Q2mpox
2. Otter iphone case:
http://bit.ly/Q2mwk2
3. Get The Hint stickers
http://bit.ly/QDHFpi
4. Celebrate the Games:
http://bit.ly/LNmOy2
*********************************************
>> RIP: Goatboy <<
The new goats on the block
It's five years this week since the death
of one of our favouritest ever popbitchers,
Reverend Goatboy. To commemorate, here are
our current top goats:
1. Goat Man of Utah.
Dressed like a goat, living in a herd of
goats. When photos hit the media,
wildlife rangers took a phone call
from an "agitated man" saying "Leave
goat man alone. He's done nothing wrong".
Another call suggested he was actually a
goat hunter. Well, Goat Man would say
that anything to get people off his
tracks, wouldn't he?
http://natpo.st/SVvOBF
2. Goat-on-a-rope.
Animal rights issue aside, surely the most
spectacular ever circus act?
http://bit.ly/Olix4i
3. Goat shouting like a man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0-lkl9TzsU
4. David Duchovny in a film called Goats
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ii6qjQx3myI
5. The Goats Justice League
http://goatjusticeleague.org/
6. Weird goat:
http://vimeo.com/44583147
-----------------------------------------------
Zoo otters favourite food is... horsemeat.
-----------------------------------------------
>> Belend <<
Fashion guru makes video
You sold your international fashion
brand (Belstaff)
You spend time hanging with celebrities
like George Clooney
You release your own showreel
You are Manuele Malenotti!
"I am your hangover on Sunday night"
Watch. It's not a spoof.
http://bit.ly/N4RIxj
------------------------------------------------
Death knell for books? George W Bush, married
to a librarian, says they "don't have
bookstands any more. We've got iPads. Please."
----------------------------------------------
Mark Owen's latest child: Fox India.
Did they forget the trot?
----------------------------------------------
>> Hmms <<
Coffee, Ebay, George
Something odd about hearing a Russian
singing about her "hot-tub" and "crib".
Julia Tatu's new single, one for
fans of auto-tune:
http://bit.ly/NZ8D8i
Social media brand wank of the month?
http://bit.ly/QaBWHs
Summer's finally coming? Bring
on the Italo-house sounds:
http://bit.ly/MmIyjB
Comedians getting into cars
with coffee:
http://bit.ly/OoS6su
Best Ebay sale ever?
http://bit.ly/MKbKzr
The story behind the recording of
the national anthems for the Olympics:
http://bit.ly/LPsE1N
Boy George sounding great as
Lana Del Rey:
http://bit.ly/OcEdBa
First glimpse of he Wachowskis
take on Cloud Atlas:
http://bit.ly/MnzzMH
*********************************************
We are delighted to offer 50 Popbitch readers
this exclusive offer to see Boom Boom Club
at the Priceless London Wonderground next
Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday.
Call 0844 545 8282 with promo code Popbitch
to book your tickets for just 15.50GBP.
*********************************************
>> Stuff about Popbitch <<
* Email us stories, gossip, otter pics:
hello@popbitch.com
* Subscribe or unsubscribe here:
http://www.popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Mail by aysabtu
*********************************************
Thanks to: bubastis, Ulysses, SW, E, CH
DD, TW, BF, AM, Britnee
Thanks to everyone who sent us corporate
songs, inc: RH, RW, MH, CB, MOC, LN,
KB, JM, JF, PJ, KB
*********************************************
Old Jokes Home
I met an athlete near the Olympic Park.
I asked "Are you a Pole Vaulter?"
He said "No, I'm German...
and how do you know my name?"
Still Bored?
An interesting contrarian take
on Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert:
http://bit.ly/MZ2KVyFriday, July 27, 2012
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