Kristen Stewart Udoo: funny

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Monday, July 9, 2012

Today its Senamrobik 1Murid 1Sukan

Morning students n readers alike!!

its 6.30am in the morning n i'm all up n dressed in red shirt n tracksuit (i hate tracksuits make me look like mrs potato) for a reason.

and that reason is becasue today its SENAMROBIK 1M 1S (1 murid 1sukan) another brillianto idea from our beloved goverment in hopes to keep our little young ones in sch healthy happy n free from trouble. The sch n its stress gave me multiple ulcers not recovering ,fever n sinus back. i wonder how healthy this change could be..

(its like hoping fish could spring out of the water to talk n drink beer, the mighty minds on the top think that 1 session of aerobics looking like the ah sum in the taman perumahan there will change their attitude from gangsters into meek mice. blah)

oh as a teacher i can only speak GOOD of this program since i must not "kacang lupakan kulit" and forget who pays my paycheck at the end of the month so i dont need to survive on air n sunshine n photosynthesis like the lalang tepi longkang. sabar....

Its a MALAYSIAN RECORD FEAT as this program will be held simultaneously with 4 million students from primary to secondary (wow like half the country adi) dancing n shaking their booty booty to the video above from 8am- 10am. THATS A FULL NON STOP 2 freaking hours okay! wah..my frens and i get to be part of some Malaysian Book of Records wei! hebat wei! (if only they gave out food or extra holidays for participating that would be pretty nice)

Tomorrow i bet half the sch will be on Mc for sakit pelbagai..

So wish me luck that i dont pull a muscle or start loosing it with students in class today. I realise i'm begining to be very ganas lah in talking because of the hostile environment. sometimes i say terrible things like "baik duduk and stop fighting or i'll tie u to the chair" or "Stop talking u want to eat my chalk?!"

Gosh.. feels like warden guarding juve prison. Haha!! Happy working all u normal people out there n dont forget that EVERY JOB has its own set of stress, troubles and problems so dont compare jobs with ur frens n be thankful for being employed n fed n clothed!

ok, going out to break a leg now! metaphorically of course ;)

Saturday, July 7, 2012

funnies for saturday!

IRONIC FUNNY QUOTES for our ironic funny life.

Ash-Mit's Law Of Reverse Dynamics:

When a guy happens to be rich, he becomes naughty &

When a girl happens to be naughty, she becomes rich.

How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?

Take their genes down.

Bubba has a question for his Science teacher.
"If 3 out of 4 people suffer from constipation, does that mean that one out of four enjoys it?

How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to do it ten days, three times a day.

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma is a b*tch.

Sincerely, Titanic

“The 100% American is 99% idiot.”

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.”

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Super hillarious funnies! :)

HELLO DEAR READERS!!

ITS SATURDAY PEOPLE!!

i super sandra feel like a superhero for hiking up bkt jambul hill early this morning. read the words- HIKE (something i never do cause i'm a coach potato. gosh, its like asking my hamster to write chinese calligraphy with this tiny paws! ).

halfway up i tot i would die n my bra was so tight i tot it would suck all my oxygen away but hey i survived! thanks to A n God's mercy. (was praying i wont collapse be a laughing stock!) the view was so good but breakfast afterthat was even better! oh how i love food..

happy laughing away to funnies! (some are quite naughty tho!) haha

babies talking

moms the wisest!

so dont worry lah.

my brother would agree with this

some thing with the milk?

twilight saga.

most girls would agree

oh no...dont let go!

taken from tangled rapunzel cartoon.

oh boy!

busted!

true lah!

cup flasher!

double take with kitty.

teacher-student relationship

spare a tot for ur toilet tissue paper!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Funny teacher notes

Good morning dear readers!

creampuff the clown is going all out to work today!!

I cant stop laughing at how funny the specs reminds me of some english sch teacher.

backbone problem kinda recovered so we're gonna seize the day n before we go out to make kids happy let us share some funny teacher notes with u guys!! :P

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.

Report card notes from teachers:
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!!
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village some where of an 'idiot'.
5. Your son sets low personal standards, and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child, beat out 1,000,000 others
12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.