funnies for saturday!

IRONIC FUNNY QUOTES for our ironic funny life.

Ash-Mit's Law Of Reverse Dynamics:

When a guy happens to be rich, he becomes naughty &

When a girl happens to be naughty, she becomes rich.




How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?

Take their genes down.


Bubba has a question for his Science teacher. 
"If 3 out of 4 people suffer from constipation, does that mean that one out of four enjoys it?


How many pharmacists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he has to do it ten days, three times a day.




Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma is a b*tch.

Sincerely, Titanic

“The 100% American is 99% idiot.”

“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.”

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.”

“He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

“Honesty is the best policy -- when there is money in it.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt -- and children.”

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

“If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.”

“Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.”

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.”

Men:
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them.
4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.

Women:
1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security.
2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff.
3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear.
4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully.
5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag".
6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect you to compliment them.
7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't believe you.