i just finnish forcing myself to sit down and study a little bit for my brain test this saturday. its just 1 hour but i felt my whole body just started to decompose in living daylight. Studying is painful to me. i cant sit down and concentrate! it aint my thing.
i HATE all sorts of exams and test and whatever that evaluates me. Even from childhood days i detested it and the pressure of evaluation has the power to change my mood into a bitch, insomnia and worst- i fall sick super easily before the evaluation. weird? yes..even piano exams freaked me out !! now i think back..the car license exam, motor exam, balloon test, interviews, multiple hundreds of school test and exams, public exams , bible quiz in church, scrutinized by bf's family and rubbish etc.. ALL MAKE ME very frustrated and edgy!
REVOLTING bitchy evaluations!! shit
sadly, even after uni i cant run away from it! future job and life..haihz..
Honestly speaking my motivation is low, i'm very irritated n sleepy rite now.
Just to share a few words from the bible reading i did tonight to end this bad week:
Proverbs 12:18
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise bring healing.
Truthful lips endure forever but a lying tongue lasts only for a moment.
No harm befalls the righteous but the wicked have their fill of trouble.
Unhealthy attitudes of anger, frustration,irritation, stress, guilt and insecurity all contribute to damaging speech. Words have the power to build up or tear down. i find myself guilty of slander, gossip and cursing. The reading was applicable today. Time to watch what i say. I want to have a life LESS of trouble.
i apologize if i'm acting weird or saying things that are awful..it will all go away soon.
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