Eating out of sadness

Dear readers

i promised to never speak evil of my work or anything related to sch so i will stick to it.

deep down i'm very sad n sort of homesick to go back to penang.. oh dont say i have not tried to adapt, i'm a great adapter n i still cannot accept many things especially schtime, the weather n being lonely without friends.

to replace that emptiness in my heart i have not done any substance abuse lah dont worry.

i have turned to my old fren mr Food. I've been eating like a pig n yet nothing seems to taste nice (outside of aunt's house) in fact everything i've eaten so far outside is plain mediocre cause my heart is totally not into it.. :(

take for instance :

on monday i ate:

-cereal n milk

-2fish n rice

-chocolate bread 1 roll

-teh tarik (cold n yucky)

-biscuits

-peanuts

-2 packets of guava n watermelon

-1 packet of mamee monster

-1 egg sandwich

-1 packet of nyonya siam beehoon

-1 bar of kindo bueno

-homecook rice +soup

-green tea drink 1 box

-fruits

(ITS ALREADY 10,000 calories and above. in penang i never allow myself to even eat rice what more hentam so many thing at one go!)

on tuesday i ate:

-roti canai telur

-Teh tarik (cold n yucky AGAIN)

-a banana

-1 packet of Mr. potato chips

-rice n fish in cantten

-sunquick

-a bun

-10 keropok lekor

- a burger (threw away half cause the patty was uncooked)

-asam laksa (worst i ever eaten from pasar malam)

-nadaje cake (its sooooo creamy at the end part i felt quite sick)

- Mc D fries

- fruits

(verdict: just as bad as monday ..i feel so tired the end of the day cause i think my liver n kidneys cant work as fast)

on wednesday i ate:

-a banana

- ham chim peng

-teh tarik

- broken dry fried beehoon (free from sch sukantara)

-fried rice from students corner

- 2 packets of watermelon

-keropok

- a bun

- santan filled cendol from jonker 88

- fried osyter oo chian from some heritage shop

- nandos 1 set

-preserved junk 1 packet

-1 putu piring (very famous in melaka i like this one)

- fruits

(everyday i'm eating beyond what my body can process n then feel even more guilty the next day, and the cycle repeats it pathetic-ness)

i need to find an outlet to destress, eat less, get exercise again n stop feeling so damn blue day in day out!!

i go to work 6.30 am come back also almost 3.30pm and i'm so damn tired i just need to sleep. whole day n night i'm tired god knows why n i'm so cranky its affecting my relationships with people. sometimes i want to slap myself n ask how fast i've changed in just 2 weeks..haiyo..FAT DIE ME la..depressed even more. damn it.

Suggestions anyone?