If you imagine a horror movie by a frustrated director of music videos....

... you'll probably come up with something like this one.

Lady of the Dark: Genesis of the Serpent Vampire (2011)
Starring: Melanie Denholme
Director: Philip Gardiner
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

An even-tempered and normal young woman (Denholme) is possessed by an ancient, vengeful spirit and transformed into a sadistic, blood-thirsty monster.

If I spend waaaay too much time thinking about what this movie "means," I could probably come up all sorts of blather about how it's an allegory for the theological idea of corruption of innocense (there's actually little doubt that's what the writer/director WANTED it to be... altough the introductory dialogue seems to run counter to that), how it chillingly tracks a young woman's decent into psychotic madness (which is does... although it does so as effectively as a treasure map sketched by a drunken pirate, because we so very little of what she was like before she became unglued and violent), or any number of things.

But I'm not going to spend any more time than I already have, because I think the filmmakers weren't entirely certain of their ideas and what interperatations they wanted viewers to make as the film unfolded. If they WERE certain, their points became muddled in the disjointed and chaotic way the story is told.

Because the way the story is told is the biggest problem with the film. In fact, it feels far more like a demo-reel than an actual movie, showcasing director Philip Gardiner's ability to film in different styles or create dramatic effects with camera tricks rather than big budget CGI... or showcasing actress Melanie Denholme's ability to portray a range of emotions. All in all, "Lady of the Dark" feels more like a collection of music videos that a movie, as most it consists of scenes of Melanie Denholme walking around while goth rock or some variety of metal plays.

Denholme, in fact, portrays the only character in the film that gets any significant screen time at all, and this leads to the film's second big problem. We are led to believe, both through her own narration and by the mundane activities that she spends the first half of the movie doing, that Denholme's character Eve is just your average, happily married young woman. However, we never see the husband, nor do we we see her interacting with anyone at all... either second-hand through her narration or through scenes. We basically learn nothing about who she is or how she interacts with others until she turns into a sadistic murderer in the film's second half. While what Eve turns into is horrific and the scenes of her madness and sadism are chilling and horrific, they would have been even more impactful if Eve had been given more depth as a character.

But the way the film is put together doesn't allow for depth. Demo-reels are not intended to convey depth of character or stories, just to provide a sampling of what the creator is capable of.

I think that Philip Gardiner might be capable of making a good movie if he would actually apply himself to making one... but judging from this film and "Men in Black: The Dark Watchers" , I don't know that he's tried to make a full-blown movie. He is one hell of a director of music videos that much is clear... and it's made even more so by the fact that the actual music video included as a bonus feature on the DVD I screened is more interesting than the main attraction.

The rating I'm giving this film is a low, but still generous, 3 Stars. That said, if you're into music videos, or the world's biggest Melanie Denholme fan, you'll probably like the film more than I did.






(In the interest of full disclosure, this review was based on an advanced screening copy that was provided to me by distributor Chemical Burn.)

'Demon Kiss' is flawed but watchable

Demon Kiss (2010)
Starring: Sally Mullins, Elizabeth Di Prinzio (aka Jessica T. Perez?), Sebastian Gonzales, and Jamie Macek
Director: Dennis Devine
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A demon goes on a bloody killing spree, thinning the roster of an escort service while moving from body to body while searching for the reincarnated Mary Magdalene, the "mother of all whores." Meanwhile, a police detective (Gonzales) and the "psychoanalyst to the working hooker" (Mullins) are desperately trying to identify who the serial killer is and stop him.

"Demon Kiss" is a movie I should come down on like a ton of bricks. Its director, Dennis Devine, has helmed better movies (with "Caregiver" from 2007 springing immediately to mind); the cast is mostly community theatre-level when it comes to both acting skills and acting styles; the production was so cash-starved that the gore effects are weak and almost no effort was made to hide the fact that the same room is recycled as different locations, and the theological and historical under-pinnings of the story are so shaky that it made my old-time Humanities Major heart cry out in pain.

Despite all those negatives, however, the film held my attention... and that's saying a lot these days when I'm being pulled in all kinds of directions by non-movie related demands. I can't quite put my finger on what made this movie more entertaining than annoying, but the fact that ten minutes didn't go by without a attractive woman getting naked was part of it.

Another part was, despite the fact that the tired cliche of a "hooker with a heart of gold, looking for a way out of the profession" was joined with the slur that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute was one part of the script that stuck in my craw more than anything, was that Elizabeth Di Prinzio (or Jessica T. Perez in some credits listings) gave such a good performance that I wished she'd had more screen time. I was interested in seeing how things turned out for this character, especially with all the references in the film to Jesus having returned to Earth and that they two of them were fated to meet again. (And this is the demon's plan: possess the reincarnated Mary and thus later possess the reincarnated Jesus. Not a very good plan, but still a plan... which is impressive given how stupid and shortsighted this demon is portrayed as.)

A fun, over-the-top performance by Jamie Macek as a demon-possessed homicide detective was also something I found entertaining. He gives viewers a villain to hate even when he's not possessed by the demon.

The rest of the cast, as I mentioned above, are about par for the course for movies at this budget level, including the lead actress Sally Mullins (who also produced the film and co-wrote the script with Devine), but none are downright awful--a couple are borderline, but they were obviously hired for their boobs and tattoos rather than acting talent. But with the two fun performances to lift the film up, everyone else is passable.

The only things that keep this film from getting a Five rating from me instead of the low Four it has now is that Devine and Mullins weren't very adept in hiding their sources of inspiration for the story. I'm not talking about Bible sources, but rather films like "Fallen" and "The Exorcist" and/or low-rent rip-offs like "Eerie Midnight Horror Show". Not hiding your sources becomes a danger when the audience keeps thinking how the source borrowed from is better than what we are currently being subjected to... and it becomes downright fatal when the movie's climax is one that has been done better many, MANY times over. And to make matters worse, the whole bit with Jesus walking the Earth and Mary Magdalene being reincarnated never really pays off... and the obligatory "shock twist ending" pretty much established that it never will.

In the end, "Demon Kiss" stands as a deeply flawed but watchable film... assuming you don't mind boobs and gore mixed in with a weakly conceived theological horror plot.

A good idea is butchered in 'Demon Slaughter'

Demon Slaughter (2008)
Starring: Adam Berasi, Bill Wittman, Vic Badger, and Shannon Johnson
Director: Ryan Cavalline
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Psychopathic killer Jimmy (Berasi) decides to quit the crime syndicate by stealing a few million dollars from it and then killing everyone that might come after him. But his partners in crime get wind of his intentions, and they decide to take out Jimmy and his wife (Johnson) first. And that's when the demons and zombies start popping up.

"Demon Slaughter" has in interesting story at its heart and that makes it yet another in the seemingly unending row of films I wish I liked more. Jimmy, as played by Adam Berasi is an absolutely unlikeable character, but the viewers become invested in his fate despite ourselves; he's a character like Scarface (from the 1930s version... I've not seen any of the remakes) with even fewer good qualities. This is a credit to Adam Berasi's acting talent more than the material (or the props) he's working with.

Unfortunately, the film is nowhere near as powerful as it might have been, due to budget- and skill-limitations on every front.

First off, this is a movie with lots and lots of gun-play in it, but there was not the money to hire an armorer (so the weapons--some of which look like toys--are never fired and the actors don't even try to simulate recoils), nor the budget to actually damage the interior of a building where a massive shoot-out takes place (all those missed shots from the automatic weapons never impact anything), nor the special-effects know-how to rig actors with squibs (or whatever the modern equivalent is) and blood-packs for when they get shot. All-in-all, the shoot-outs and gangster action felt more like someone trained a camera on adults playing Soldiers or Cops & Robbers rather than something that belonged in a movie.

Second, there wasn't the budget to fully create scary zombies when all of Jimmy's victims (I assume that's who the zombies were, although that's never expressly stated) come back for their revenge. The make-up and costumes were reminiscent of a high school play or cheap haunted house rather than something that belonged in a movie. It also didn't help that there were barely half a dozen zombies when the sequence called for a veritable hoard of them.

And then there's a the sound effects and sound recording in general. There is a reference to "boom operators" in the credits, but if such were used on this film, they were the least competent people to ever handle that equipment. It seems more likely that all dialogue was recorded with the built-in microphone on the cheap video camera that was used to make this movie, as there are times where the dialogue is so soft so as to be almost inaudible and the volume of the actors' voices vary greatly... sometimes to the point of being inaudible. And Cavelline uses the game gunshot sound over and over and over and over and over....

Finally, the transition point from violent gangster flick with a few horror touches into full-blown surrealistic horror film is so clumsily handled that anyone who's read "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge" (or read any of the many comic book adaptations, or the "Twilight Zone" episode based on it) will have a pretty good idea about where the rest of the film is headed. If the story had been a little more elaborately structured--with the first half perhaps being in flashback?--maybe it could have been a little less predictable.

Despite all the toy guns, bad effects, and clumsy filmmaking, the film has enough moments to make it just good enough to not end up at Movies You Should [Die Before You] See... but only barely. The scenes surrounding the death of Jimmy's wife that lead up to the transition from gangster movie to horror movie are pretty well done and are the film's highlight.

"Demon Slaughter" can be found in several DVD multi-movie packs from Maxim Media's Pendulum Pictures and Brain Damage Films. It's worth checking out if acquired that way, but you will regret spending the money if you get any stand-alone version that might be out there.

Nine Days of the Ninja:Ninjas & Zombies: Tastes that go great together?

Ninjas vs. Zombies (2010)
Starring: Daniel Ross, Cory Okouchi, Carla Okouchi, P.J. Megaw, Dan Guy, Daniel Mascarello, Melissa McConnell, Tara Moore, and Will Stendeback
Director: Justin Timpane
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

Three friends are granted the magical powers and combat prowess of The Ninja when a necromantic ritual unleashes a soul-sucking, zombie-creating demon on a small American town.

As low-budget action spoofs go, "Ninjas vs, Zombies" is fairly well accomplished on the technical front. The special effects are well-deployed, both the practical gore effects and the digitally generated "magical energies" and muzzle-flashes and explosions. Director Timpane seems to have a good sense of how to film action and martial arts scenes, and the editing generally helps cover up budgetary shortfalls rather than emphasize them. The main technical disappointment about the film is that the foley artists could have been on the job more, as there are several fight and effect scenes that are less effective than they might otherwise have been.

The acting is better than I've come to expect from films at this level of production, with lead heroes Daniel Ross and Dan Guy being particularly skilled and fun to watch. P.J. McGaw also gives a good accounting of himself as the root of all evil in the film, and the rest of the cast and supporting players are also quite good.

Unfortunately, everyone is let down by an inadequite script. Written by the director, it feels like a first draft, with flabby and repetative scenes and dialogue, particularly early on, and, worse, irrelevant scenes and pop cultural references that distract from the film's central high concept of Ninjas kicking Zombie ass without adding anything worthwhile to the mix. I suppose with Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer somehow still having careers and still making shitty comedies that consist of little more than stringing together random references to popular movies and pop culture, it was only a matter of time before a new generation of filmmakers started to copy them. (It also doesn't help that some of the character interaction feels like it was lifted from a Kevin Smith movie. Stealing is a time-honored tradition among script-writers, but one really should take one's screenplay through an extra draft or two to hide the sources a bit better. Even if it means bringing in a co-writer.

I think there is all sorts of potential for a great horror and/or action comedy when it comes to pitting Ninjas against zombies. I also think that potential is on display in this film, but it remains mostly unrealized. It's better than most of the Godfrey Ho patch-work Ninja films, but it's still not a film to go out of your way for, whether you're looking for a comdy, a zombie film, or a ninja picture. It might make a good second feature for a bad movie night, if your group has patience for films with slow wind-ups and irrelevant detours.

'Eerie Midnight Horror Show': Almost worth staying up for

The Eerie Midnight Horror Show (aka "Enter the Devil", "The Devil Obsession", and "The Sexorcist") (1974)
Starring: Stella Carnacina, Chris Avram, Ivan Rassimov, Lucretia Love, Luigi Pistilli, and Gabriele Tinti
Director: Mario Gariazzo
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

While working in proximity to a relic tied to a Satanic cult noted for its wild orgies, young Daniele (Carnacina) is possessed by Satan. Before you know it, she is engaging in wild masturbation and making in decent proposals to anyone who will listen. Her parents (Avram and Love) taker her to a remote nunnery where they hope a famed exorcist (Pistilli) will cure her.

A film with little reason for being other than it was made to catch some of the money raining down from the record-breaking box office of "The Exorcist" in the early 1970s, "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show" plays like a sleazier, less coherent version than the block it was chipped off from.

However, the rambling, wandering story structure was the most interesting thing about the picture; it brought a sense of realism to a film that at times works a little too hard to bring deeper meaning to its parade of titilating and shocking imagery. The haphazard way scenes are strung together and the badly connected logic versus action of just about everyone in the picture, from the demon straight up through the priest called in to cast him out, gives the movie a sense of what I imagine it would probably be like if there really was such a thing as demonic possession.

But, aside from some creepy imagery here and there, and scenes of a young woman engaging in sexual activity that will make you feel a little dirty while you watch it, there's really nothing here that's noteworthy. Everything is either bland or overplayed to the point where it loses impact, such as the handsome, sexy demonic figure. The casting of Ivan Rassimov was a clever move, as he is both a very attractive man and has the ability to look exceptionally creepy... but his lines are so over the top with their melodrama that he becomes almost a parody of the evil he is supposed to represent.

I came across this film as part of the 50-movie megapack "Pure Terror" collection, and as such it is relatively harmless filler. However, I don't believe it would be worth the price to rent or purchase as a stand-alone film unless you are a dedicated student or rabid fan of this particular horror sub-genre.

'Teenage Exorcist' isn't worth possessing

Teenage Exorcist (1994)
Starring: Brinke Stevens, Oliver Darrow, Eddie Deezen, and Michael Berryman
Director: Grant Austin Waldman
Rating: Two of Ten Stars

Brinke Stevens stars a Good Girl who rents a house that a demonologist has transformed into an eternal vessel for his evil soul and miscellaneous other demonic and undead riff-raff. She is soon possessed by an evil, over-sexed demon and transformed into the ultimate Bad Girl. Can her sister, her ultra-straightlaced brother-in-law, and a dim-witted pizza boy save Brinke' soul (and the neighborhood's property values)?

This is intended as a horror comedy, but it is mostly unfunny due to a lack of comedic timing on the part of most of the actors, and the simple fact that many of the jokes just aren't that funny. The horror side is also markedly un-scary. The only reason to watch this film is the opportunity to see Brinke Stevens wander around in skimpy outfits--but you can get to see her do that in better films than this one.

'Gothic' is an excursion into nightmaresthat's not for everyone

Gothic (1986)
Starring: Gabriel Byrne, Natasha Richardson, Julian Sands, Myriam Cyr, and Timothy Spall
Director: Ken Russell
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Eccentric poet Lord Byron (Byrne) invites a young prodigy Percy Shelly and his fiance Mary Wollstonecraft (Sands and Richardson), along with her halfsister Claire Claremont (Cyr) to spend a weekend with him and his personal doctor, Polidori (Spall), at his isolated estate. After an evening of reading ghost stories, drinking wine enhanced with Laudanum (a hallucinogenic), and an impromptu seance, these members of the cream of the Age of Enlightenment's intellectual crop find themselves trapped in an ever worsening spiral of confusion and terror. Is it just the drugs, or did the seance call forth an evil spirit which is now tormenting them?

"Gothic" is a stylish, extremely creepy movie. There are very few films I've seen that manage to transfer the dread and fear felt by the characters as the film unfolds to me, but this is one of them. Although it starts out feeling like "Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe?" set in a rambling castle and performed by effeminate people in puffy shirts and bad hairdos, this movie soon turns into one of the most bizarre and terrifying films I've ever seen. Much of it unfolds seemingly at random, with the threads occasionally coming briefly together but invariably separating into a chaotic mess again.

While I would usually find this to be a flaw, it is something that works with great effect here.

The film has an odd tone to it from the very first arrival of Shelly and the girls at Byron's estate, and that oddness kicks into full fledged horror movie mode when the characters start reading ghost stories to each other. At that point, the passage of time, and the very nature of reality, the house, and those in it start to change. As a thunderous rainstorm batters the manor house, Byron, Shelly, Polidori, Mary, and Claire all seem to be drawn into ghost stories, and singly or together, they all experience one of more hallmarks of such tales, ranging from apparent possessions to hallucinations of all kinds.

In fact, while "Gothic" is not a movie about a haunted house, it should serve as required viewing for anyone who is thinking about making a haunted house movie. The way the house becomes a character unto itself as the film unfolds, the various torments the character's experience, the possessions... they're all haunted-house standards, and they're all handled with far greater skill than in the vast majority of movies that deal specifically with hauntings.

A great deal of the film's success can be credited to Gabriel Byrne. He gives a wonderfully varied performance as the twisted poet Byron, but he is also portraying the one character who remains stable throughout the film. Byron stars out as an unbalanced character--swinging from capricious, to sensitive, to menacingly insane, sometimes all within the space of a few minutes--but as the other characters come increasingly unglued, Byron emerges as the closest thing there is to a stable hold on reality. Whether in the dying light of a spring afternoon, or in the deepest part of a nightmare-made-real, Byrne's Byron is unchanged... and this contributes to the viewer's sense of unease; the abnormal has become the closet thing to normal, anywhere. Byrne, however, is merely a point man for an excellent cast. All the principles are great (Cyr is genuinely creepy after she's possessed (?)), and given the length of some of the shots and the difficulty of the dialogue delivered during them, I don't think this was an easy movie to star in.

Although the amazing use of Byron can also be credited to the script, there are some issues with the script as well--mostly relating to where the line between what's a dream and what's reality in the film is--and this cost it a Tomato in my rating. However, I may be overcritical on this point, because once "Gothic" gets going, the terror and disorientation builds and builds to such a degree that reality and drug-soaked nightmare and which is which really doesn't matter. And the way you can see the works of Mary Wollstonecraft-Shelly and Percy Shelly (and almost certainly also that of Dr. Polidori, although I've not read his book "The Vampyre", so I can't say) echoed throughout in dialogue and situations

This film is one scary ride, featuring fine performances from all its actors, and led by a director that deploys every tool in his filmmaking arsenal with great skill and artistry. It's a film worth seeing if you enjoy well-made horror flicks and experimental films, but it does require some patience and tolerance of artsy-fartsy flourishes.





(Oh... I suppose I should touch on what many reviewers seem to think is a selling point. The film supposedly chronicles the one night that gave rise to Mary Shelly's "Frankenstein", Shelly's best poems, and Polidori's "The Vampyre". While this is an interesting aspect of the film--and it's one that raises even more questions about where the line between reality and nightmare exists in the movie, and if perhaps Byron and his guests did, in fact, rouse some evil spirit that night--it's not one that felt was so all-fire important to the movie. It helps to know who the characters are, but one doesn't need a BA in English to "get it.")

'Night of the Demons' has Halloween gore

Night of the Demons (2010)
Starring: Diora Baird, Shannon Elizabeth, Edward Furlong, Monica Keena, Bobbi Sue Luther, John F. Beach, Michael Copon, and Tiffany Shepis
Director: Adam Gierash
Stars: Five of Ten Stars

After an illicit rave in a mansion that was the sight of mysterious disappearances and murder on Halloween night some 90 years ago, the party organizer (Elizabeth) and six friends accidentally discover what happened. In doing so, they awaken demons that have until dawn to possess and destroy seven humans in order escape their prison inside the house.

"Night of the Demons" is a remake of the 1988 horror fan-favorite of the same title. It sat on a shelf at the studio for a year before being released directly to DVD, has a more satisfying ending than the 1988 original (and, in an amusing way, manages to present one of those "final moment twists" I so often rail about that actually works), but other than that it doesn't measure up.

There is only one scene that's as scary and strange as anything in the 1988 film--involving lipstick and about a gallon of blood--but everything else is what we've come to expect from a movie about beautiful young people trapped in a house with demons that possess them and pick them off, one by one. The film has the further flaw that the characters aren't actually trapped, but appear merely to be too dumb to scale the wall around the mansion's grounds; the gate is mysteriously locked, but what's to stop them from giving one of their number a boost over the wall so that person can get a locksmith?

"Night of the Demons" is a fast paced, competently made but unspectacular horror flick. The stars all deliver good performances, it's got just enough story and character development to keep me happy, and its spiced up with plenty of gore and jiggling naked boobs to make me even happier. Perhaps if such a clear line hadn't been drawn to the 1988 title (if it had been called "House of Demons" or "Seven Until Dawn" or some-such), I would have considered it to be among the better paint-by-number horror flicks out there. As it is, however, it suffers by the comparisons it invites and therefore calls attention to the fact that it really does fall at the bottom end of average.

'Bound by Blood: Wendigo' is a packed chiller

Bound By Blood: Wendigo (2011)
Starring: Brian Anthony, Cheyenne King, Leon South, and Bob Dobiesz
Director: Len Kabasinski
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

In the dead of winter, a small town sheriff (Anthony) and a doctor (King) face off against a band of ruthless assassins hunting a Federally-protected witness and the body-hopping, cannibal spirit known as Wendigo.

This is one of those movies that was much cooler in concept than execution. I absolutely love the set-up and the way the movie unfolds with three story lines--the Wendigo spirit cutting gory swath through the back country, the mysterious assassins honing in on their target, and the sheriff who you just know is in for the worst day of his life when he inevitably gets caught in the middle of several situations he can't even begin to understand. Or, rather, never gets a chance to understand, because the bullets are flying and the bodies are dropping too fast.

The biggest problem with the film is that here's simply too much going on. There are too many characters up to too many things at any given time. While Kabasinski is skilled enough as a writer and director to keep all these balls moving through the air in a steady and orderly fashion, he has to move back and forth between the sheriff and the doctor, the wendigo claiming victims, the FBI protection detail, and the hit team, with such frequency that the viewers never really get invested with one set of characters or another. The end result is not one that builds suspense but rather one that builds impatience. We don't care more for one set of characters than the other, so all we want is for the film to reach the three-way confrontation it's promising.

That's not to say this is boring movie. Kabasinski gives us plenty of action and gore as the film unfolds, and he generally keeps things moving at a fast pace. The only boring bit happens right at the beginning, in the pre-opening credits sequence. While I appreciate the need to set up the presence of the Wendigo spirit, that sequence could have been done in half the time and it would have freed up a few minutes later for some more time with the lead characters--the sheriff and the doctor portrayed by Brian Anthony and Cheyenne King respectively--or perhaps with the most interesting secondary character--the leader of the hit team portrayed by the director himself under the stage name Leon South.

This is the third film I've seen by Len Kabasinski, and it's the third one I've enjoyed. As harsh as my review of Kabasinski's "Curse of the Wolf" was, I still found it entertaining and with plenty of merit. He showed improvement as a filmmaker with his second movie, "Fist of the Vampire", fixing most of the flaws I complained about previously and showing improvement in just about every technical area. That development as a filmmaker for Kabasinski continues with this film.

With "Bound By Blood", Kabasinski continues to marry the action genre with the horror genre, but he has become far more adept in staging and filming the martial arts fight scenes. Camera placement is such now that viewers have the illusion that punches and kicks are being thrown and actually hitting home. The use of sound design to further the illusion has also improved over previous efforts. The only problem with the fight scenes is that choreography continues to feel under-rehearsed; with a little more practice time, perhaps the fights could be a little faster paced and the use of editing to conceal the fact they're not continuous could be reduced? I understand, though, that this might not be possible due to the budget constraints that Kabasinski operates under.

Kabasinski also once again deploys CGI effects with great skill through the picture, moreso than in his previous ones. Once again, it's mostly muzzle-flashes and bullet impacts, but it's done very effectively. He tripped up a bit when he decided to use CGI for a gore effect involving a character being shot in the head, but I've seen worse in movies with bigger budgets, so I can forgive him that one excess.

"Wendigo" is not a perfect film, but it's pretty good. I hope that Kabasinski eventually finds a backer who can give him enough time and money to make a movie that's closer to perfect, because I think he has the potential to create a kick-ass action/horror hybrid film.

Regardless, I'll be looking forward to his next movie with great anticipation.




"Wendigo: Bound By Blood" debuted on DVD from Midnight Releasing on May 3. My thanks to Maxim Media for providing me with a preview copy.

'Adventures of Johnny Tao' are worth taking

The Adventures of Johnny Tao: A Kung Fu Fable (aka "Quest of the Dragon") (2007)
Starring: Matthew Twining, Matt Mullins, Chris Yen, Kelly Perine, and Lindsay Parker
Director: Kenn Scott
Steve's Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When his best friend Eddie (Mullins) is possessed by a demon who is turning the citizens of the small desert town of Dry Springs into zombies, gas station attendant and would-be Kung Fu master Johnny Dow (Twining) teams up with a gorgeous demon hunter named Mika (Yen), a bumbling sheriff's deputy (Perine) and his girl friend and town council candidate (Parker) to save the day. But how far can ancient mysticism and all the moves Johnny's learned from a lifetime of watching Kung Fu movies carry our heroes once the demon steals the guitar Johnny's father built around the spear that's the only thing that can kill him?

"The Adventures of Johnny Tao" is an excellent, low-budget action/adventure comedy in the spirit of the B-movies of the 1930s and 1940s--complete with bumbling cops, tough hoods, sinister secrets from the Orient that threaten to destroy us all, and a Little Guy as the hero-- which is crossed with a traditional Kung Fu tale storyline and infused with very modern American humor and pacing.

What's more, this film is superior to the majority of independent horror movies out there, be they the ones that get released directly to DVD or that show up on cable channels/ The script is is tighter, the acting is better, the camera-work and set design is generally more creative... it's just a good. In fact, with a more experienced crew and a few thousand dollars more worth of budget, this film could easily measure up against some of the recent big screen releases.

The staging of the various key battles of the demon and his minions were particularly impressive. The fight between the demon and the butt-kicking, motorcycle riding demon hunter played by Yen was very suspenseful and its climax startling, while the final battle between Johnny and demon at the fortune cookie factory was very cool visually--with thousands of scraps of papers containing fortunes swirling in the air around them while they fight.

This is not to say the film is perfect. While the filmmakers definitely have every dollar showing on the screen, there are some rough spots that I think can attributed to budget constraints, and perhaps inexperience on the part of crew members.

As impressive as the fight scenes are, they still feel choreographed in many instances; this is particularly true of the fight that introduces us to Mika. Then there's the fight where Johnny takes on a zombie with a shopping cart... it's a Jackie Chan "homage", but its too slow-moving and it once again feels overly choreographed and staged.

There are also some odd costuming choices that jarred me out of the film, like the local smalltown thug who walks around in a viking helmet.

However, the negative stuff aside, I have to say that the sound editing in this film is up to the highest levels of professional standards. The foley artists here (led by Darwin Clarke and Tony Kucenski) did a FANTASTIC job. I can't count the number of low-budget action and adventure films that don't pay enough attention to the power of sound. A fight scene falls flat and seems exactly like what it is--a couple of guys playing make-believe--if the exaggerated "thwaks" and sounds of things breaking aren't put in in post-production. A suspenseful moment is ruined if the right ambient sounds aren't heard. All hail the director of "Johnny Tao" and his sound department, because they did a MASTERFUL job on this frequently underappreciated element of filmmaking!

'Season of the Witch' is a time of fantasy/horror

Season of the Witch (2011)
Starring: Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy, Ulrich Thomsen, Robert Sheehan, Stephen Campbell Moore, and Stephen Graham
Director: Dominic Sena
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A pair of 14th century Crusader knights (Cage and Perlman) return to their homeland to find it ravaged by a terrible plague. They join a priest (Moore) and three other swordsmen (Graham, Sheehan, and Thomsen) on a dangerous mission to escort a mysterious girl (Foy) who is suspected of being the witch who has caused the plague to a remote monastery where her soul will be cleansed.

"Season of Witch" is a fast-moving fantasy/horror film that mixes movie cliches--can there be a horror film set in the Middle Ages that doesn't feature some plague or another?--and refreshing approaches to standard fantasy/horror/action movie types--such as the knights played by Cage and Perlman who have grown disillusioned with earthly religious institutions but who still don't go on long, never-ending screeds about God not existing--with a degree deftness that a fairly standard story and characters have enough of an air of freshness about them that you won't regret the time or the money spent on watching this movie.

The audience for this film are big fans of D&D-style low-fantasy adventures, as the horror here is more R.E. Howard than H.P. Lovecraft, and the heroes' relationship with God and religion is more Solomon Kane than Joan of Arc. It's a straight-forward adventure populated with situations and characters that will either bring feelings of nostalgia or satisfaction to DMs and players who will feel like the scenery in their mind's eye while playing paper-based RPGs has come to life on the screen before them. This movie is what a D&D movie should be like, with its ass-kicking heroes, sinister witches, zombies, and uber-powerful demons.

Unfortunately, the film shares a bit of the haphazard plotting that is typical of even the best conceived roleplaying game adventures, be they "homebrews" or published scenarios. Much of what happens in the film seems to happen just because it's a plot necessity, especially once the characters reach their destination. I can't go into it too much without spoiling the movie, but you will find yourself wondering why the heroes even made it inside the monastery walls as the film barrels toward its CG monster-filled climax. The red herrings presented--is the girl a witch or not?; is the priest a bad guy rapist/satanist or not?--are clumsily implemented and there is never any real doubt on the part of the viewer what the truth is. And then there's the unfortunately, unintentionally comedic named location of "City of Villach."All in all, the script is fairly weak, succeeding in large part because it is constantly moving the film forward to the next creepy scene or the next fight, and because the filmmakers were smart and confident enough in their abilities to stay off the soap-box and show us the brutality and corruption that can arise from religious fanaticism instead of telling us. (Although the friend I saw the film with though less of it than I did, she being troubled by the fact that the only women in the film were demon-possessed witches who were just there to be dispatched.)

The other keys to what makes this film fun to watch is the peformances by Nicholas Cage, Ron Perlman, and Claire Foy. None are particularly deep characters, but Cage and Perlman play well off each other, and they are perfectly believable as life-long friends and honorable knights. Meanwhile, Foy can project wide-eyed innocence and demonic menace with equal force.

Fans of the films stars and of low-fantasy (or the even lower D&D-style fantasy) will enjoy "Season of the Witch". Admirers of the Tolkien and Lewis screen adaptations might want to skip it.

'Sabbath' is full of good concepts but still fails

While straightening up my office, I found some movies I'd misfiled. For who-knows-what-reason, I'd put about half a dozen DVDs in my "Watched" drawer when I had done nothing of the sort!

I'll be trying to get to those movies as soon as possible, but by way of setting the stage for one of those upcoming reviews, here's an Oldie But a Goodie that originally appeared at revenant.com.


Sabbath (2008)
Starring: Ashley Gallo, Bobby Williams, David Crawford, Rob Holmes, Cory Wisberger, and Cheyenne Stewart
Director: William Victor Schotten
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Geller (Gallo), Mack, (Williams), and a trio of oddball misfits (Crawford, Holmes, and Wisberger) struggle to join forces and stay alive as the dead rise from their graves. They are, literally, the last five living beings on Earth, as it is Judgement Day and angelic beings and shadowy demons are prowling around them, waiting and watching for one final event to occur.

"Sabbath" is a low-budget zombie picture that shows every indication of being made with dedication and heart. The best part is that there was a fair degree of talent at work in the cinematography department. It even has a number of appealing aspects as far as the story goes. Unfortunately, it's simply not very good. It is a tie between this film and "Revolt of the Zombies" for the Dullest Zombie Movie I've Ever Seen Award.

Basically, the film suffers from all the usual flaws that are often found in horror movies at this level. Establishing shots go on forever. Lots of scenes of characters running, walking, or standing in forests with nothing else really going on. Lame fight scenes that might have been less lame if a) the director had attempted less of them, and b) more rehearsal time had gone into staging them--the climactic battle in the churchyard wold have been so much better if it had been concentrated into about half or one-third of the time it takes in the existing film. The actors mostly seem lethargic, as if they are at a rehearsal instead of actually making the movie. Almost every scene continues well past the point where it should have ended. There's also the sloppiness and shortcuts taken where just a little extra effort or investment would have improved things immensely--like giving the Angel of Death a scythe that looked like it might actually cut something, and dressing the demons in black tights instead of black jeans and sneakers.

In fact, "Sabbath" would have been far less boring if the director had recognized that he was stretching about 45 minutes of movie to nearly twice that length. It also would have been less boring if the script had seen a couple more revisions and if it had ended up with a little more sound logic to underpin the fact that the five main characters in the film aren't the
final five living beings on Earth by accident.

Late in the film (VERY late) we learn that all five characters had some part to play in the accidental death of Geller's daughter. The Angel of Death and some other angel (the Angel of Mercy? Archangel Michael? It's never named, but it's played by Cheyenne Stewart) are waiting to judge let just one of them into Heaven as the last soul before the gates close forever. However, the timing of the little girl's death as given in the film makes no sense, as she supposedly died two full weeks prior to the events of the film. We are to believe that on the ENTIRE planet Earth, no other events of that nature occurred for two weeks? The film would have been far stronger if the death of the little girl had occurred the day before the Judgement Day instead of weeks prior, as the notion of these five people needing to be judged "after the fact" would have made more sense.

I really wish I could like this movie more, because it has some aspects to it I really enjoyed.

I liked mystery of the grim reaper, the angel, and the evil spirits (or demons, whatever they were) creeping about or even assisting the film's main characters unseen by them; that's something I've never seen in a zombie picture before. One of the film's best moments happens when the Grim Reaper smites a zombie just as it was about to attack Bobby Williams, and he is then left trying to figure out why the zombie just keeled over. I also liked the way the film overtly got into the the mystical Judgement Day aspects of mass-zombie attacks instead of presenting it as one character's superstition and then dismissing it with a scientific explanation. I also liked the very end of the movie, even if I 'm a bit unsure of what exactly the director was trying to convey.

The best thing I can say about "Sabbath" is that it kept me watching. The bit with the angels, demons, and a mystical Judgement Day unfolding around the characters gave this zombie flick an unusual dimension. In fact, that whole aspect of the film may make it worth checking out for experienced watchers of the zombie genre.

'Devil Hunter Yohko' is weakened by too much sexual content

Devil Hunter Yohko, Episode One (1991)
Director: Katsuhisa Yamada
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

In "Devil Hunter Yohko," a typical (well, typical for late 80s/early 90s Japanese cartoons) 16-year-old girl discovers that her birthright and duty is to assume the role of "devil hunter" and turn back an impending demonic invasion of Earth.

"Devil Hunter Yohko" is an early 1990s direct-to-video animated series from Japan. There are some glimmers of cool ideas in the 45-minute first episode, but they are overwhelmed by a crass, hypersexual attitude that runs through the story. The episode starts with Yohko waking up from a prophetic wet dream, and it continues through her friends being corrupted by "lust demons" who want to make sure she loses her virginity before she awakens to her devil hunter powers--because they only manifest if the girl is pure in mind and body. That stuff is sort of tasteless and leads to a softcore cartoon porn scene between a couple of teenaged characters--one of them possessed by a demon--but the show is very crass and tasteless in its portrayal of Yohko's mother who seems to want to see her daughter sleep with any available male... doesn't care who, so long as Yohko is spreading her legs.

Although I imagine that this series would be highly placed on any Top Ten Anime Series list compiled by Gary Glitter or Roman Polanski.

I am not a prude, but the sexual references and themes in the first episode of "Devil Hunter Yohko" were just too tasteless for me. I understand the series gets better, so I may give the next installment a try.

Japanese demons run wild in 'Ninja Wars'

Ninja Wars (aka "Death of a Ninja", "Iga Magic Story" and "Black Magic Story") (1982)
Starring: Hiroyuki Sanada, Noriko Watanabe, Akira Nakao, Jun Miho, Mikio Narita, Noboru Matsuhashi, and Sonny Chiba
Director: Mitsumasa Saito
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A feudal warlord (Nakao) allies with a demon (Narita) and the five monks in his service after it is prophesied that if he wins the heart of a beautiful princess (Watanabe), he will someday rule the world. To ensure their success, the demon monks kidnap the princess's virginal twin sister (also Watanabe) who was being secretly raised as a ninja, and from whose tears they hope to brew a love potion. But they didn't take her fellow ninja and sweetheart Jotaro (Sanada) into account, nor the ferocity with which he would attempt to rescue his love.
 

"Ninja Wars" is a big-budget, epic fantasy movie set during the Warring States period of Japan's history. It's got a wild, twisting and turning plot that the above-summary only touches on part of, because to say more would ruin some of the film's surprises. It's got romance, spectacular battles, and black magic applied in bizarre ways. It's got pure-hearted virgins, brave ninjas, honorless nobles, and Samurai who are more than what they seem. It's a film that will surprise you, because scene after scene will have you saying, "No... they didn't just do THAT, did they?!"

The version I watched (which was titled "Death of a Ninja") featured some dodgy dubbing--with weak acting and clearly mistranslated dialogues--but the superior quality of the film still shined through that hobbling. It's nearly perfectly paced, and it keeps the viewers attention through fast action and a steady stream of unexpected developments. The only two things that annoyed me about the film was a flashback sequence that flashed back to things we had just seen on screen some ten minutes earlier, and the somewhat unsatisfying ending. (It's a fitting end, but it wasn't strong enough for my tastes.)

Fans of tales set in 15th through 17th century Japan, fans of Samurai epics, and fans of quirky martial arts and fantasy movies should find much to enjoy here. And horror fans will certainly enjoy the bizarre demonic machinations and certain shocking scenes I don't want to detail, because I will spoil their impact.

The deadliest of blogathons....

Could it perhaps be... SATAN?!

The Omen (aka "The Omen I: The Anti-Christ") (1976)
Starring: Gregory Peck, Lee Remick, David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, Patrick Troughton, and Harvey Stephens
Director: Richard Donner
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

Little Damien Thorn (Stephens) is the much-loved child of the American ambassador to Great Britain (Peck) and his beautifuul wife (Remick). Unfortunately, strange accidents and bizarre violence seems to follow Damien... and they'll only get worse, as Damien is the Anti-Christ come to usher in Hell on Earth!

"The Omen" is a moody, stylish horror film that is driven first and foremost by the great performances of its stars, and by a great use of locations and sets. Peck is particularly excellent as a man grounded in the modern, secular world who gradually comes to face the horrifying fact that his son is the earthly incarnation of ultimate evil. Thorn's search for the truth is one of the best best ever put on film, and the climactic scenes as he seeks to confront Evil and save the world is ne of the most chilling sequences in cinematic history.

Another important key to the atmosphere of horror in "The Omen" is the fantastic orchestral and choral score by Jerry Goldsmith. The music he composed for this film is some of the most recognizable ever written for a film, and some of the best of his career. It ranges from bombastic to skin-crawlingly creepy, but it always enhances to pall of darkness that permeates the film.

Every aspect of "The Omen" is of the highest quality, and it is a true horror movie classic.

'Constantine' smokes demons in good adaptation

Constantine (2005)
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Djimon Hounso, Tilda Swinton, and Peter Stormare
Director: Francis Lawrence
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

The Spear of Destiny has fallen into the hands of a cabal of half-demons and only supernatural detective John Constantine (Reeves) stands between humanity and literal Hell on Earth.

"Constantine" is a nice adaptation of the long-running "Hellblazer" comic book to the big screen. It retains just enough of the original series to not make one go "why did they even use the character's name?" while creating a standalone work that can be enjoyed by the vast majority of film-watchers who have never heard of the series. (Even better, the filmmakers chose to give a nod to my favorite "Hellblazer" storyline, now some fifteen years gone, where John Constantine is diagnosed with lung cancer and is facing certain death.)

Far more comic-booky in nature than the comic book ever was back when I read it, the film nonetheless captures the vibe of John Constantine's world, a place where conspiracy and theology mixes easily and even the most innocent facade may hide vast occult power. It's a film that should appeal equally to fans of superheroes, the supernatural, and "Coast-to-Coast AM" style of paranoid thinking. The icing on the cake is some pretty good acting by Keanau Reeves and Rachel Weisz. Tilda Swinton also plays a sufficiently menacing Angel Gabriel, while Peter Stomare takes a decent turn as Satan, even if I wish they'd found a more handsome actor to play him.

The Complete Night Stalker, Part Four

"Kolchak: The Night Stalker" is a show that many people my age think fondly of, half-remembering episodes that scared the bejeezus out of us as kids. Viewing the entire series as an adult, I found that there were many episodes that warrant those warm feelings. However, as I continue my survey of all 20 episodes in the series as part of the 31 Nights of Halloween, I it is clear that today's batch represent the series at its height.

If the majority of the show had been as good as Episodes Thirteen through Sixteen, and if ABC and Universal  Television executives had dealt more fairly with star Darrin McGavin (instead of reneging on promises of creative control and co-producer status of the series), maybe it would have earned a second season.

Kolchak: The Night Stalker
(The Complete Television Series Reviewed, Part Four)

Episode Thirteen: Primal Scream
Rating: Six of Ten Stars
Director: Robert Scheerer

A trail of brutal dismemberment murders that start at a research lab analyzing core samples retrieved from the North Pole brings Kolchak face-to-face with savage man-apes that have spontenously regenerated from thawed-out cells.

This episode is pure scientific nonsense of 1950s monster-movie variety. In think even in the 50s, audiences would have rolled their eyes at the notion of life-forms as complicated as a meat-eating primate regenerating from a few single cells. What makes this episode fun is Carl's interaction with the incidental characters and the supporting cast back at the INS office. Ron in particular gets to shine in this episode.

The monster here is lame, and Carl's heedless pursuit of a creature that is so plainly dangerous to whomever it comes across is pure idiocy (even by Kolchak Standards) but the non-monster related interaction definately saves this episode.


Episode Fourteen: The Trevi Collection
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars
Director: Don Weis

Before a source can give Carl a promised scoop, the source is murdered. As Carl investigates, he uncovers disturbing facts about the House of Trevi, a ritzy fashion design studio: The lady it's named after is witch, and deadly curses are being tossed left, right, and center... at anyone who seems to threaten the supremecy of Trevi. And that includes Our Man Carl.

This is one of my very favorite episodes, despite the somewhat dubious way Carl is drawn into the situation. I love the way the story's many twists and the way Carl's gung-ho monster-hunting attitude (where he blazes ahead without having all his facts straight) ends up making the situation far more deadly. A subplot about mobsters chasing Carl for information also adds a lot to this episode.

The episode is also enlivened by a guest appearance by Lara Parker as the fashion designing witch who will let nothing stand between her and success. She is so good that I may down the "Dark Shadows" movies she starred in.


Episode Fourteen: Chopper
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars
Director: Bruce Kessler

Aging, former members of an outlaw biker gang are being murdered, all decapitated by an impossibly strong killer. Kolchak investigates, and then he becomes the next target of a headless ghost biker who has come back from the dead for revenge.

This is one of the great "Night Stalker" episodes. There's plenty of horror and plenty of laughs in this excellently written episode. The tension remains high until the very moment--there hasn't been such a strong sense of danger for Kolchak since "The Zombie".

This could have been a Ten-Star episode if not for the absolute laziness with which the headless biker was created. I realize it was the 70s, they didn't have the sort of computer effects we have today, and television budgets and shooting schedules were tight, but there MUST have been a better way to do the biker ghost than just have a stunt driver pull his jacket over his head. In life, the biker just have been known as "Johnny Long Torso" because his chest is about one-head length too big.

This bit of shoddiness undermines what could have been a truly great episode.


Episode Fifteen: Demon in Lace
Rating: Six of Ten Stars
Director: Don Weis

Young men are being frightened to death on a college campus. Kolchak traces the cause back to an ancient tablet and the demon who dwells within it. Will anyone believe that a priceless historical treasure must be destroyed before any more lives are lost?

This is a solid, middle-of-the-road episode. The story is okay and well thought out--it even provides a reason for why Carl isn't fired and/or locked up for good at the end--and there's a nice balance of humor and horror as a frustrated Kolchak battles not only the police and college campus bureacrats, but also has to contend with a journalism student who shares many of his worst personality traits. It's funny to see Carl get a dose of his own medicine.


Episode Sixteen: Legacy of Terror
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars
Director: Don McDougall

Someone armed with a dull blade has been cutting out the hearts of physically-perfect men and women, killing each victim is found on a higher and higher prime numbered flight of stairs. Kolchak's investigation puts him at odds with bizarre Aztec cult seeking to revive their mummified god at the correct celestial alignment. To prevent the mummy's resurrection, Kolchak must prevent the sacrifice of their fifth, "perfect" victim on the highest flight of stairs in Chicago.

This is one of the better episodes as it features a high creepiness factor, high humor factor, and there's a strong sense that Kolchak may be in over his head during the climax, but the lengths to which the writers go to make their story believable (by filling the viewer in on details regarding Aztec mythology) sometimes gives it a feeling of a doctoral thesis gone waaaay of the rails. Still, it's an etertaining, fast-paced, and exciting episode. The cult/conspiracy angle it takes also strengthens it immensely; the supernatural monster doesn't appear until the very end.

(Speaking of the monster, the final shot of the mummy shows its eyes flicker a bit. I'm not sure if that's sloppy editing or intentional, but it was certainly startling, since Carl was certain he'd prevented the gods resurrection... at least until the stars align again.)










Please join me again next week, as I finish the trip through all 20 episodes of "Kolchak: The Night Stalker", just in time for the monster explosion that is Halloween!

I wish I liked 'Fable' more than I do

Fable: Teeth of the Beast (2010)
Starring: Melantha Blackthorne, Tara Alexis, Dale Denton, James Ray, Raw Leiba, and Fiona Horn
Director: Sean-Michael Argo
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

What starts as a simple assignment to break up an illegal Quiji Board smuggling ring, brings the City of Fable's top freelance trouble-shooter (Blackthorne) into conflict with a demon planning to destroy the hidden city and shred the veil between the magical world and the modern one.

"Fable: Teeth of the Beasts" is a film I really wanted to like. The press release included with the screener the publicity rep kindly sent me caused me to put the film near the top of my review stack. It's basic concept is one that I love--a dark fantasy movie set in a pseudo-modern environment. It's the sort sort of story part of me wishes I would force myself to do.

Which is why I wish I liked this movie more than I do, because I love genre mash-ups and there are things to like about "Fable".

Lead Malentha Blackthorne does a good job as the magical bounty hunter with a troubled past, and Dale Denton is one heck of a scary demon underneath some strange, anvil-jawed make-up. The use of digital blood-spatter, sparks, and muzzle flashes is far more adeptly used here than in films made with budgets of many hundreds more than what was spent here--like The Expendables and Machete. It's great to see a low-budget film show up the big boys like that.

The script by Matt Yaeger (from a story by Argo) is just about perfect, striking the right balance between a hardboiled detective/action film tone, an R.E. Howard vibe, and a Tolkien Universe gone seriously bad. So as far as that goes, I like this film for all the same reasons I liked the other Argo/Yaeger collaboration I've watched and reviewed, 'Johnny Sunshine', which was a genre mash-up of cyberpunk and zombie movies. I will probably watch and review any other film by them I come across, because I think they are both talented writers and directors, and I hope that they'll get it right eventually.

Argo also leads with a bit of filmmaking that I first thought boded ill but which turned out to be one of the cleverest things he did. Some scenes use "digital sets," mostly in the film's beginning, in a clever reversal of what is expected; actors in the "real world" are placed in digitally generated streets that lend a phony look to the action, while the "fantasy world" is all gritty and real. It's the opposite of what was done in "Despiser" and it's a great touch.

Much as I liked "Fable" for some of the reasons I liked "Johnny Sunshine", the film has some of the same problems, attributable in both films to inexperience of directors and cinematographers. Once again, this is a film with numerous fight scenes that not only feel under-rehearsed, but they are badly photographed, with camera placements far from optimal. I'm also not sure Argo has a feel for creating cinematic fight scenes... his editor certainly didn't!

But these technical complaints are dwarfed by the film's gigantic, insurmountable problem: That this is that it never should have been made. Or at least not made in the way it was here, because it is a movie that required a far bigger budget than what the filmmakers had to work with here.

"Fable" has at its foundation a script that would have made a great Japanese cartoon (or anime, for those of you who feel you're too grown-up to be watching cartoons). Its main character is a sexy babe who kicks ass with magic and guns. She exists in a world that is supposedly full of legendary magical creatures and demons where she is disliked just as much by the creatures she fights as by the Powers That Be. Heck, even the way the dialogue is delivered and the pacing of the film reminded me of anime. But animation is far more costly than the price of getting a few actors and a small technical crew together in a building slated for demolition (or some similar site).

And getting those actors together is a good fallback position, assuming you have the budget for great costumes and/or creature effects to populate the City of Fable with minotaurs, winged fairies, weird creatures flying through the air or perching on stools at the local bar, and all sorts of other visual madness. Or at the very least SOME costumes and creature effects aside from the single demon that is the film's main bad guy. Because one single actor in heavy make-up doesn't do the supposed realm where all magic and magical beings retreated to when humans and their Reason and Logic started taking hold and shaping Reality. All that does demonstrate the vast missed opportunities and squandered potential that this film represents.

"Fable" is a movie I hope gets a remake someday--a hope held in vain, because no one ever remakes movies because they need to be remade. Or maybe the script could be adapted to a graphic novel format, because it would make a great comic book as well. But this is not good movie, no matter how much I wanted it to be. It really is only of interest to those who are absolutely fanatical in their love of urban fantasy, and who must see or read everything that appears in that genre.

Here's hoping there'll be a third outing for Argo and Yaeger... and that the third time will indeed be the charm!

'Despiser' has great atmosphere on low budget

Despiser (2003)

Starring: Mark Redfield, Doug Brown, Frank Smith, Michael Weitz, Tara Bilkins, Mike Cuccherini, and Philip J. Cook

Director: Philip J. Cook

Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Fired from his job, left by his wife, evicted from his home, killed in a car crash, and sent to Purgatory, Doug (Redfield) naturally thinks tings can't worse. But he's wrong. He soon finds himself in the middle of a battle to free the souls of Purgatory from the Shadowmen and an alien force known as the Despiser.

"Despiser" is the sort of movie I never would have believed could work on a low-budget, even in this age of relatively cheap computer graphics. It's a large-scale action/fantasy story with explosions, gunplay, car-chases and subsequent car-crashes, more explosions, and very alien creatures. It also takes place mostly in another dimension.

But producer/director delivers a large and ambitious film that's far beyond the usual low-budget fare with computer graphics taking care of all the very action and set-aspects of the film. These aren't computer graphics that are going to fool anyone--they are only slightly above the level of where the standard computer game was when this movie was released and about at the place where most MMO RPGs are today, but these obvious graphics work because the film embraces them and uses them to emphasize the otherworldly nature of the Purgatory dimension where the film takes place. (There are a couple of instances where computer graphics and blue-screen shots are used in the "real world"--such as the exterior of an apartment building where some characters are out on a ledge, or during the incidident that leads to Doug ending up in Purgatory--that are not as successful as when it's used to represent the world of the afterlife. Fortunately, there aren't many times where Cook does this.)

"Despiser" also features a better-than-average cast with, with Mark Redfield as our confused hero giving a performance worthy of any big-budget action star you'd care to mention. In fact, there was only one single supporting actor giving a stagey, flat, and unconvincing performance in the entire film, although I winced a bit at the inconsistent bad accents affected by Frank Smith (Japanese) and Tara Bilkins (British), but they really didn't have enough lines that it detracted from the movie that much. (Well, maybe Smith did... shortly after the character was introduced, I wondered, "Why does is that Mexican guy wearing a WW2 flight jacket with the Japanese kamakazi rising sun flag on the back?" but shortly thereafter an exchange between characters made me realize Smith was not playing a Mexican but was supposed to be Japanese.)

The film also featured a lean and to-the-point script without a single dull moment. While some of the dialogue could have used a bit of work--the insults and witty action-hero style banter from Doug needed some serious sharpening--the overall script was fun, fast-moviing and thoroughly enjoyable.

'Frostbiter' is sure to leave you cold

Whoops! Failed to notice I saved this as a draft instead of scheduling it to post! Almost missed one of the 31 Nights of Halloween as a result!

Frostbiter: Wrath of the Wendigo (1990)
Starring: Ron Asheton, Lori Baker, Devlin Burton, and Patrick Butler
Director: Tom Chaney
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

When a drunken doctor on a hunting trip (Asheton) shoots the guardian of a mystic circle keeping the monstrous Wendigo contained, it falls to a teenaged girl (Baker) with dormant magical powers to stop the creature before it turns the entire world into a snowbound hell.


"Frostbiter" is another one of those movies that I wanted to like--how can one NOT want to like a movie where a pot of extra-spicy chili turns into a bunch of flesh-eating of monsters? It starts like a fairly typical low-budget monster film, morphs into an "Evil Dead"-wannabe, but then disintergrates into a morass of bad writing, easily avoidable continuity gaffes, and pointless plot meandering.

For what they had to work with budget-wise, the filmmakers do a great job with the special effects--the stop-motion animation is particuarly well-done--and unlike many creators at this level, they have a sense of not to dwell on their low-budget gore and animations but use editing techniques to minimize their presence onscreen and thus maximize their impact. The use of lighting and color on screen is also superior to what is found in many low-budget horrors.

However, the technical aplomb of the creators does not make up for the nonsensical, inconsistent and incoherent script where characters seem to forget what's going on in the rest of the film for entire sequences... and the weakness of the script is only made more apparent by the amateur actors featured in the film.

"Frostbiter" is a bad movie with a few scattered worthwhile moments. The aforementioned chili monsters, the "encounter" with Miss October, and the stop-motion Wendigo puppet are all highlights. But they are nowhere near enough to make this a movie that's worth your time.