'The House That Screamed' has Hammer Films mood

The House That Screamed (1969)
Starring: Lilli Palmer, Christina Galbo, Mary Maude, Maribel Martin, and John Moulder-Brown
Director: Narciso Ibáñez Serrador
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The head-mistress of a boarding school for wayward girls (Palmer) tries with increasing fierceness to keep order and discipline in the sea of run-away hormones and rebelliousness among the students and her teenaged son (Moulder-Brown). But soon after the arrival of a new student, someone starts enforcing an even sterner form of discipline in the school's shadow-haunted hallways... a discipline that leaves girls dead.

"The House That Screamed" is a Spanish horror movie that successfully crosses the look and feel of Hammer Films' black-and-white psychological thrillers from the early 1960s with their gothic horror films of the 1960s. Writer/director Serrador isn't quite Terence Fisher, but he's the next best thing, as he delivers an effectively paced, well-staged film that will keep you guessing as to the identity of the killer and what exactly is going on within the walls of the girl's school until the Big Reveal at the end. While the ending ultimately is not all that surprising, the path leading there and its execution is chilling and stylish.

Featuring a talented cast of young actresses as the students, and a superb performance by Lilli Palmer who manages to portray a sadistic, controlling bitch and still illicit sympathy for her from the audience, and some shocking murders, this is a great film to check out if you liked "Susperia" or any of the black-and-white Hammer Films psychological thrillers--even if this film is in color. (Oh, one thing the film is surprisingly short on, what with its all-girls boarding school location, several sexual themes, and even a shower scene, is nudity. I don't recall any, in fact.)

'Point of Terror' is nearly pointless

Point of Terror (1971)
Starring: Peter Carpenter, Dyanne Thorne, Leslie Sims, Joel Marsten, Paula Mitchell, and Lory Hansen
Director: Alex Nicol
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Lounge singer Tony Trelos (Carpenter) thinks his dreams of stardom are at hand when he becomes the latest boy-toy for the oversexed wife of a record executive (Thorne) and she promises him a record contract. But things get dangerously complicated when her husband (Marsten) turns up dead and Tony falls in love/lust with her stepdaughter (Hansen).

"Point of Terror" is a messy movie that meanders through a predictable "Pride Goeth Before a Fall" story. The tone varies widely from comedy to thriller to horror, but it never stays with one atmosphere long enough to establish whether writer/producer/star Peter Carpenter failed at making an erotic thriller, a horror movie, or a dark comedy. Although the demise of the abusive husband, some of the revelations around Dyanne Thorne's character, and the fact that Tony Trelos is about as dumb as a box of rocks make me wonder if this is a REALLY dry comedy, I THINK Carpenter and director Alex Nicol were trying to make a thriller in the Italian "gaillo" vein. Unfortunately, while they captured the incoherence so dominant in many Italian mysteries and thrillers, they captured none of the style. Worse, scenes with flourishes that were intended to be artistic drag on and on and on and feel more like padding than anything else. (You know you're watching an erotic thriller gone wrong when you are reaching for the remote to fast-forward through the sex scenes because they are boring and the music score under them is nerve-gratingly bad).

The film isn't helped by the fact that the only performer with any screen presence in the whole thing is Dyanne Thorne. As prone as I am to make jokes about her two humongous talents, she actually does have quite a bit of charisma... and it really shows when she's surrounded by the caliber of actors in this film. She pretty much steals the movie from poor Peter Carpenter, although he obviously intended this to be his vehicle of stardom.

Speaking of Carpenter, this is the second of his films that I've watched--the other being "Blood Mania", which he also wrote, produced, and starred in, and which I will be reviewing one of these days--and in both cases, I felt that he was an okay actor but simply didn't have much in the way of screen presence... or he simply had the misfortune of always playing against actoresses who outshone him. This was the last of Carpenter's films, and I feel like he was to the 1970s as John King was to the 1940s.

'Don't Answer the Phone' should be disconnected

Don't Answer the Phone (aka "The Hollywood Strangler") (1980)
Starring: James Westmoreland, Nicholas Worth, Flo Gerrish,
and Ben Frank
Director: Robert Hammer
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A serial killer (Worth) is on the loose in Los Angeles, murdering hookers and photo models with unchecked savagery while taunting radio psychiatrist Lindsay Gale (Gerrish) with on-air phone calls. Will the homicide detectives in charge of the case (Frank and Westmoreland) catch him before his torment of Gale turns to murder?

Indifferently acted with cinematography and lighting to match, not to mention listless direction, the thus poorly written killer-on-the-loose flick doesn't have much going for it other than the graphic nature of its highly sexually charged murder scenes and the overall creepiness of the mad killer... and that's only if you watch the uncensored version, which is what is included in the "Pure Terror" boxed set.

There's little question that the creators of this film were trying to be as nasty as they could be, with the kill scenes each lingering on the pain and suffering of the victims as they are choked to death (with the one exception feeling strange as a result) and almost always following up with some disturbingly perverted behavior by the insane killer. In some ways, this film is worse than some of the "torture porn" films that have been so popular in recent years. It could even be considered a precursor to them, although it has more in common with Italian bloody thrillers from the hands of Dario Argento or Mario Bava than the more recent flicks.

This is one of those films where I almost feel bad for the actors in it. I've no doubt everyone was trying their best, but they were working with material so badly written that even the greatest actors would have a hard time saving it. James Westmoreland plays one of the dumbest, most obnoxious cops that's ever been presented as a heroic lead character in any film, and his partner--played by career bit-player Ben Frank who probably had hoped that this, one of his few large roles would have been better--is only slightly smarter; Flo Gerrish is so shrewish and shrill that you will find yourself HOPING she gets killed just so she will shut up--although, to the filmmakers' credit, when she finally does become a direct victim of the killer, it is a scary and well-done sequence and we are genuinely worried for the character as she is about to be brutalized, murdered, and raped; and Nicholas Worth's killer is so brutal and crazy and depraved and so over the top that he almost become a parody of the mad killers from the aforementioned Italian thrillers.

In fact, the script for this film is so bad that I've seen some reviewers comment on it as if it was a satire of slasher flicks and Argento-style thrillers. While that is certainly a charitable way to look at the film, I sincerely doubt that writer/director Robert Hammer was trying to make anything but a serious thriller.

In the final evaluation, "Don't Answer the Phone" might be fitting as part of a line-up for a Bad Movie Night centered on detective movies or Italian-type thrillers, but only if your viewing buddies have a tolerance for stupid cops and extended rape/murder scenes.

'Eerie Midnight Horror Show': Almost worth staying up for

The Eerie Midnight Horror Show (aka "Enter the Devil", "The Devil Obsession", and "The Sexorcist") (1974)
Starring: Stella Carnacina, Chris Avram, Ivan Rassimov, Lucretia Love, Luigi Pistilli, and Gabriele Tinti
Director: Mario Gariazzo
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

While working in proximity to a relic tied to a Satanic cult noted for its wild orgies, young Daniele (Carnacina) is possessed by Satan. Before you know it, she is engaging in wild masturbation and making in decent proposals to anyone who will listen. Her parents (Avram and Love) taker her to a remote nunnery where they hope a famed exorcist (Pistilli) will cure her.

A film with little reason for being other than it was made to catch some of the money raining down from the record-breaking box office of "The Exorcist" in the early 1970s, "The Eerie Midnight Horror Show" plays like a sleazier, less coherent version than the block it was chipped off from.

However, the rambling, wandering story structure was the most interesting thing about the picture; it brought a sense of realism to a film that at times works a little too hard to bring deeper meaning to its parade of titilating and shocking imagery. The haphazard way scenes are strung together and the badly connected logic versus action of just about everyone in the picture, from the demon straight up through the priest called in to cast him out, gives the movie a sense of what I imagine it would probably be like if there really was such a thing as demonic possession.

But, aside from some creepy imagery here and there, and scenes of a young woman engaging in sexual activity that will make you feel a little dirty while you watch it, there's really nothing here that's noteworthy. Everything is either bland or overplayed to the point where it loses impact, such as the handsome, sexy demonic figure. The casting of Ivan Rassimov was a clever move, as he is both a very attractive man and has the ability to look exceptionally creepy... but his lines are so over the top with their melodrama that he becomes almost a parody of the evil he is supposed to represent.

I came across this film as part of the 50-movie megapack "Pure Terror" collection, and as such it is relatively harmless filler. However, I don't believe it would be worth the price to rent or purchase as a stand-alone film unless you are a dedicated student or rabid fan of this particular horror sub-genre.

One of the funkiest werewolf movies ever

The DVD version of this film I watched had no opening credits, title card, or other such niceties. It simply launched into the action, with a rich man telling friends he was taking his trophy wife on vacation to Transylvania to visit his childhood home. Bad Things happen (as they do on every trip anyone in a movie ever takes to Transylvania), but what didn't happen was the appearance of anyone that appeared to be Dr. Jekyll. By the time Naschy appeared on screen and declared himself to be Waldemar Daninsky, I assume the editors of the Pure Terror DVD multi-pack had made a mistake and that I was watching some other Naschy werewolf movie co-starring that I would have to spend some time identifying when it was over. It seemed a minor concern to me, as the film was unfolding rapidly with lots of nasty, superstitious peasants and good performances by everyone involved.

Then, at the half-hour mark or so, Dr. Henry Jekyll was name-checked and he made an appearance soon thereafter. It took a while to get to him, but he's there. Mad science and monumentally bad ideas in the arena of werewolf curing ensue.

Dr. Jekyll and the Werewolf (aka "Dr. Jekyll and Werewolf Hyde") (1972)
Starring: Paul Naschy, Shirley Corrigan, Jack Taylor, Mirta Miller, and Jose Marco
Director: Leon Klimovsky
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After saving a beautiful young tourist (Corrigan) from Transylvanian bandits, Count Waldemar Daninky (Naschy) is presented with an opportunity to rid himself of the werewolf curse that plagues him. The young woman is friends with the grandson of the famous Dr. Henry Jekyll, and he has continued the research and medical experiments of his ancestor. She is convinced that he will be able to help Daninsky, but once they return to London, the younger Dr. Jekyll (Taylor) and his work is endangered by a jealous assistant (Miller). Will Mr. Hyde walk the streets of London again, this time augmented by the savage might of a werewolf?

Of course, if you've seen at least one "werewolf/vampire/two-headed circus freak goes looking for a cure to his ailment," you know the answer to the rhetorical question above. Of course Hyde ends up running loose on the streets of London augmented by the might of a werewolf!

This film marked the sixth time Spanish actor Paul Naschy donned the werewolf make-up and hopped around while making snarly faces. It's the third I've reviewed, and so far it's the most accomplished of them all. Naschy is also better as his signature character Daninsky than I've seen him previously.

After a bit of a false start--one that is far removed from werewolves and Dr. Jekyll both--the film gets down to some really fun business of merging werewolf lore with Robert Louis Stevenson's classic novella. Unperturbed by the fact that every circumstance points to his grandfather's idea of unleashing a person's dark side being a really, really bad one, the new Henry Jekyll has continued along that line of study with a large helping of modern psychology thrown in. And now, by using the Jekyll Method to draw out Hyde just before the full moon rises, he then causes Hyde to turn into Daninsky instead of the werewolf.

I'm sure it makes a whole lot of sense, but it doesn't matter because it all gets messed up when his assistant stabs Jekyll in the back (metaphorically and literally), unleashes Hyde once and for all and becomes his partner.

(Although on the face of it, Hyde makes even less sense in this film than in any other I've seen. It makes perfect sense he'd be a Victorian-era scoundrel and sex pervert in films set during that period, but why would he manifest himself that way from Daninsky's dark side in the 1970s?

And things go from bad to worse when Jekyll's werewolf-supressing formula wears off and Hyde transforms into a werewolf in a crowded disco and starts maiming the crowd. It's one of the film's best moments... exceeded only by the earlier one where Daninsky gets stuck in an elevator shortly before the full moon is about to rise.

In the end, the film resolves itself in a fairly predictable way that tie loosely back to the extraneous half or so that opened the film and which tries to interject a little romantic tragedy into the film. It feels a little forced, but it does provide some additional texture to what was otherwise unfolding like a "oh crap, the run-times almost over... better wrap this puppy up!" final few minutes.

While not quite as crazy as "Fury of the Wolf Man" or "Werewolf Shadow" (both reviewed here), it is more coherent and as good as some of the Universal Larry Talbot monster-mashup from the 1940s. (And those films are clearly what the creators of the Naschy films are drawing for inspiration; are there any of the Naschy werewolf flicks that don't mix in villains or elements from other horror subgenres?)

If you liked the classics with Lon Chaney Jr., I think you'll like "Dr. Jekyll and the Werewolf".

Another film with better actors than it deserved

Double Exposure (1983)
Starring: Michael Callan, James Stacy, Joanna Pettet, and Seymour Cassel
Director: William Byron Hillman
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A photographer (Callan) on the verge of a mental breakdown starts having vivid nightmares in which he murders his beautiful models. When a mysterious serial killer starts making his dreams reality--by murdering his models in exactly the manner he dreamed--both he and the police become convinced that he is the killer.

"Double Exposure" is a fairly run-of-the-mill low-budget murder mystery/sexual thriller that features substandard dialogue but better-than-expected acting from the cast members. Time and again, Callan, Stacy, Pettet, Cassel, and the extensive supporting cast of suspects and victims prove the truism that a good actor can make even the worse lines sing.

Callan in particular is good. He presents a believable performance as a man who is coming apart at the seams, and manages to make a character who might come across as slimy likable--given that he's a guy in his forties rutting with women half his age--which makes the maybe-dream-sequences all the more effective and shocking when he turns from nice guy to killer. The violence during the kill sequences is also startling because it mostly comes with very little build-up.

There are two major flaws with this film that the actors can't overcome, however.

The first are the painfully boring stretches of padding, with the worst of these being a pointless sequence of the characters dancing the night away at a disco. If not for the shuttle feature on my DVD player, I may have given up on this movie at that point. Yes, there was a tiny bit of plot that unfolded during the long--oh so long!--disco scene, and it helped set up the twist ending a little, but it was nowhere near enough to justify the torture of sitting through that scene. Even with liberal application of the shuttle feature, it was too long.

The second is the way the story is executed. As mentioned above, the film has a twist ending in-so-far-as who the real murderer is. However, the lines between the main character's reality and dreams become so blurred that even the viewer can't keep track of what's what. At roughly the halfway point of the film, I decided that I was watching a really bad attempt at making a film like "Hatchet for the Honeymoon" where the hook of the story isn't who-dunnit but rather how the psycho killer will ultimately meet his end. The level of padding, though, was so severe that I almost didn't stick with the film to the end. The only thing that kept me watching was several inconsistencies in the timeline of the killings versus where the photographer seemed to be at the time... they seemed a little too deliberate to just be sloppy writing, so stuck with the film to see if I had been right in my assumption.

It turns out that I was not, but that this film follows the more standard path of having one of the characters framing/exploiting the main character's unstable mental state for his own twisted purposes, in addition to serial killing that is. While there are clues to whom the actual killer is sprinkled throughout the movie, the revelation of the identity, the how, and the why really don't make a whole lot of sense, nor do they seem terribly plausible if one applies a little bit of thought.

Then again, this movie really isn't worth your brain-power, and watching it may just make you feel sad for the actors who are giving this poorly conceived crap their best efforts.

Family fun with werewolves in suburbia

My Mom's a Werewolf (1989)
Starring: Susan Blakely, John Saxon, Katrina Caspary, Diana Barrows, and John Schuck
Director: Michael Fischa
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A suburban housewife (Blakely) is seduced by a handsome petshop owner (Saxon) into enjoying an afternoon fling... but soon afterwards she starts transforming into a werewolf. As she tries to conceal her condition, her teenaged daughter and her horror-movie loving friend (Caspary and Barrows) set out to save her before it's too late and she forever transforms from housewife to were-wife.

"My Mom's a Werewolf" is a cute horror comedy that's hampered by listless direction, uninspired camera-work, lame music score, a final monster showdown that is anything but impressive, and a script that is not quite as focused as it could be. However, like everything I've seen from Mark Pirro--who wrote the script here--I found myself chuckling at the film as it unfolded more than anyone else in the room with me.

I can't quite say what it is I like about Pirro's films; I was almost banned from bringing movies to Bad Movie Night after I subjected friends to "Nudist Colony of the Dead", but I love that picture. And I obviously enjoyed this picture more than any of the people I watched it with. Something about Pirro's jokes just appeal to me more than others, I suppose. His genius must be one that it takes a special level of intellect to appreciate.

And I mean that in a good way. And I'll keep telling myself that.

I still recommend this film as something to watch with 'tweens in the household who might be interested in horror, especially girls. There is some strong language here and there, and the film admits plainly that parents have sex lives, but it is free of gore and the main characters are a pair of smart, decent kids that manage to save the adults from certain disaster. It's the kind of film I enjoyed as a kid... are children really that different today?

Despite my friends' bored reaction to the film, I enjoyed seeing John Saxon getting an all-too-rare opportunity to show his comedic side, even if he didn't have enough to do in the film. He was still quite funny in the scene where he proves to the girls that werewolves are immune to garlic, holy water, crosses, and just about anything else they brought to confront him with. (For full-blown Funny Man John Saxon, we have to turn to "The Girl Who Knew Too Much".)

Saxon, along with the film's other stars, can be given a good deal of credit for overcoming the film's lackluster execution. They all give funny performances, and Caspary is even likable enough to make a fairly predictable final joke quite funny.

"My Mom is a Werewolf" is available in several different budget-priced DVD multi-packs. It adds value where-where it's found.

And I thought '2001' had a crappy final reel

Crucible of Horror (aka "The Corpse") (1971)
Starring: Michael Gough, Yvonne Mitchell, Sharon Gurney, and Simon Gough
Director: Viktor Retelis
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Edith (Mitchell) joins with her teenaged daughter (Gurney) in a plot to murder the domineering, sadistic, obsessive-compulsive head of their family (Michael Gough). But something goes wrong....

"Crucible of Horror" is the most bewildering movie I've seen this side of "2001." And in the end, I hate it almost as much.

For most of its running time, it's a nice little gothic thriller that's a bit slow in the uptake and prone to abandon plot threats almost as soon as they are introduced, but it's a fairly solid film until the final 10-15 minutes. Then it all goes to crap.

Oftentimes, with a movie like this, I can say, "Stop watching after this or that happen... you'll still end up enjoying the movie, because you'll never experience the shit that spoils it at the end." That doesn't work with this one, because even if you stop watching, there are so many unresolved plot threads that you won't be satisfied. Sadly, those plot threads NEVER get resolved, and the film ends in such a baffling, nonsensical and convoluted way that even the parts you thought you knew what was going on end up not making any sense in context.

I try not to spoil even the crappy movies--because, after all, one man's trash is another man's treasure--but I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the mother and daughter do not successfully kill their tormentor; it a feature of this type of film--either the dead man isn't dead, someone is posing as him, or he's a ghost. At least I don't think they do. The ending is so messed up that I really can't say for sure, because it is so out of step with the earlier film. I kept holding out hope that what was happening in the movie was that the apparently dutiful son (played by star Michael Gough's real-life son, Simon) had also planned to murder his father and that their plans had gotten tangled in each other. That turns out to not be the case, but it would been a far better movie it had been.

The only thing that saves this film from being relegated to Movies You Should (Die Before You) See is the performance given by Michael Gough. He exudes evil in this rare starring role, and it's a performance that shows that he should have been given more chances to take center stage like this. It's a shame it was wasted on a turd such as this.

The rest of the cast is also decent, and the movies technical aspects for the most part solid... even if I could have done without some of the quick-edit flashbacks and the kooky, trippy dream-sequences.





Trivia: Simon Gough and Sharon Gurney, who play bother and and sister in this film, were actually husband and wife.

Travel Advisory: Town not on the map? DON'T STOP THERE!

The Vampires' Night Orgy (1974)
Starring: Jack Taylor, Dianik Zurakowska, Jose Guardiola, Charo Soriano, Fernando Romero, Sarita Gil, and Helga Line
Director: Leon Klimovsky
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

After the driver of their bus dies of a heart attack, a collection of domestic workers on their way to new jobs at the castle of a wealthy Eastern European recluse detour to a village off the highway in a shadow-shrouded valley. Although it is not on the map, the citizens seem friendly enough, particularly the Countess who owns the entire settlement (Line). But that's only until the sun sets, at which time the outsiders become what's for dinner.

"The Vampire's Night Orgy" is one of those movies that is entertaining and scary almost despite itself. The characters are universally bland and ill-defined;--except for the "hero" who first noticed the heroine while peeping on her as she undresses, and who continues to secretly watch her even after they've met... and who ultimately decides to save his own skin over that of a little girl who may or may not still be alive; the script is a jumble of barely explained and completely unexplained events--the town is home to vampires but it is also home to some sort of spirit that looks like a little boy spirit and that seems to be at odds with the vampires, and then there's the cop-out ending to the film; the soundtrack is one of the most inappropriate and badly done I've come across, with Musak-style easy listening tunes playing as a vampire attack happens; and, finally, the acting is sub-par, be it on the part of the original cast or the voice actors doing the dubbing.

However, the film's pacing is perfect and clever staging and editing of scenes, plus decent cinematography go a long way to make up for the crummy actors. (Out of all the performers, only Jose Guardiola and Helga Line are any good... probably because they were called on to play parts like ones they've done before where they are called upon to seem friendly yet still carry a mysterious and undefinable sinister air about them.)

Also, despite the fact that one of the story's secrets is given away in the title--there's going to be an abundance of vampires showing up at some points, and what better place than a town where the sun never shines and that isn't on the map?--the way the vampires are deployed as the film unfolds is handled very well. For someone who's watched as many vampire movies as I have, it was particularly refreshing to have a scene where a vampire woman is chasing a half naked man around the bedroom instead of the other way around. It's a little thing, but it's one of the many quirks of this film that makes it fun.

Another thing that's well-handled is the use of children in the film. Often-times, children are annoying in horror movies, either because the child actors aren't any good or because their use in the plot is predictable. While the screenwriters Gabriel Burgos and Antonio Fos must not be parents, must not have had siblings, and must have been raised by wolves with the way they portray children and parenting in this film, they did manage to create a very horrific graveyard sequence build around the mysterious ghost/demon child and the young daughter of one of the traveling domestic workers. As the scene unfolded, I grew increasingly apprehensive for the girl, because I thought I knew where it was going... even if I was equally certain that there was no way the filmmakers were going to dispatch a child in the way it looked like they were going to. And yet they did! It almost makes up for the fact that earlier in the picture, the girl witnesses a man being brutally mutilated yet says nothing to any of the adults. (I'm not going to go into details about the graveyard scene involving the little girl... it has to be experienced.)

The touches of black humor throughout the film are also adeptly done, especially those revolving around the meals served at the inn while the characters are staying there. I can't offer any details without spoiling the movie, but it'll make you think twice about eating any "local delicacy" while traveling ever again.

The strengths of "The Vampires' Night Orgy" almost make up for its weaknesses. If a little more effort had been put into giving it a decent ending, I would probably have given it a Six or Seven Rating. It's well worth checking out, especially if you're looking for a vampire movie to round out a Bad Movie Night that can be seen by young teens.

Evil heritage can lead to becoming 'Satan's Slave'

Satan's Slave (aka "Evil Heritage") (1976)
Starring: Candace Glendenning, Michael Gough, Martin Potter, and Barbara Kellerman
Director: Norman J. Warren
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

After her parents die in a sudden car explosion, Catherine (Glendenning) is taken in by her uncle (Gough) and strange nephew (Potter). However, Catherine soon learns that she is more a prisoner than a guest and that her uncle intends to turn her body into the vessel for the spirit of a long-dead witch.

Full of psychic premonitions, creepy Gothic manor houses and their even creepier inhabitants, 1970s-style Satanic rituals with naked chicks writhing on altars, and periodic explosions shocking gore, "Satan's Slave" is a one-stop shop for low-budget British horror from that era.

It may also be the best film from Norman J. Warren, as it more successfully sustains an oppressive atmosphere throughout, features better acting and writing than others I've seen from him, and makes far better use of the same thematic material he explored in "Terror". Furthermore, this is one of those very rare horror films that features a twist ending that actually works! While it probably had a greater impact on audiences in the 1970s--where the habit of ending films with a "it was all just a hoax" was still in the childhood movie-going memories of many, and the downer endings that are now so commonplace so as to be annoying were still somewhat unusual--it still offers a surprising jolt for modern audiences. (And by mentioning the surprise twist and that it will cast a pall on the film's finale won't deaden its impact.)

The film is further elevated by a great cast who all do a fantastic job in their roles. Candace Glendenning strikes just the right balance between vulnerability and independence to make Catherine a very sympathetic heroine, while Michael Gough hams it up as the quietly sinister Satanic cult leader to make his performance fun and engaging. They are ably supported by Martin Potter--whose portrayal of a character with a seemingly docile milquetoast personality is a sinister aspect in itself, because we are introduced to him as he commits a brutal, sexually driven murder--and Barbara Kellerman who comes and goes as a near-complete cypher in the picture but is interesting to watch nonetheless. (In fact, Kellerman's character is the only real complaint I can mount about the script; we never gain any insight whatsoever into her motivations or who she is.)

"Satan's Slave" is one of several pleasant surprises lurking within the better-than-average Mill Creek-manufactured 50-movie DVD multipack "Pure Terror". It's one of the prime reasons to purchase the set. The film is available in other collections, but not as economically as it can be acquired in "Pure Terror".

'Blood Sabbath' is odd and very 1970s

Blood Sabbath (1971)
Starring: Tony Geary, Dyanne Thorne, Susanne Damante, Sam Gilman, and Steve Gravers
Director:
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A Viet Nam vet (Geary) haunted by the war, meets and falls in love with a water nymph (Damante) in an isolated stretch of back country. Desperate to make this impossible relationship work, he sells his soul to the evil leader of a local witch coven (Thorne) for the promise of being able to be with his beloved. Perhaps this is stating the obvious, but it all ends very badly.

"Blood Sabbath" is another one of those movies I really wish I could like more. I love the general atmosphere of the film--the story is one more suited for a fantasy setting, with our troubled warrior having fought in the Crusades or the 100 Year War instead of a modern conflict. The characters, the setting, the way the story unfolds... everything has a fairy-tale story book quality to it that stands in odds with the modern trappings of the film. In fact, one possible interpretation of what we see is that it's an "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge"-type story with everything that happens is the main character's dying fantasy.

As interesting as the script and atmosphere of the movie is, it is brought low by some pretty awful acting by just about every cast member, and by a special effects team that was either incompetent or not given enough money or time to do even simple jobs right. Nothing says "crappy" like a severed head prop that looks nothing whatsoever like the actor from whom the head was supposed to have been severed. The seemingly unending scenes of naked and semi-naked witches performing jazz dances don't help the movie any either--you know something's wrong with a film when naked chicks can't even seem to spice up the proceedings. (Although, it could also be that I've seen too many movies with witch covens doubling as the Backwood Jazz Ballet Dancers... it seems that being willing to take your shirt off and having some minimum ability to dance were the requirements to be a witch in the 1970s.)

And if there's one thing I'm glad went away with the 1970s, it's the use of crash-zooms and fish-eye lenses to show altered mental states. I don't think it's a bad representation--I've had some fever dreams or my own drug-induced stupors that have felt like that--but I can't think of a time when I didn't see that used in a film where it wasn't overused. This is no exception.

Still, it you've got absolutely nothing else going on, "Blood Sabbath" might be worth checking out just for the quirky fantasy vibe running through the film. It's not worth getting on its own, however; even if you Netflix it, try to find it on a disc with some other film, so you can get your money's worth.

'The Werewolf of Washington' is old political satire that's still timely

The Werewolf of Washington (1973)
Starring: Dean Stockwell, Biff McGuire, Clifton James, Jane House, Barbara Spiegel, and Thurman Scott
Director: Milton Moses Ginsberg
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

The newly appointed assistant press secretary to the President of the United States (Stockwell) is bitten by a werewolf and subsequently goes on a killing spree under the full moon in Washington, D.C.

"The Werewolf of Washington" is a satire that should delight lovers of horror films and political comedies equally. Set firmly in the same universe inhabited by Larry Talbot of the 1940s Universal creature features it has its hapless wolfman prowling the corridors of power in the United States' capitol rather than in some hazy Modern Gothic never-neverland. Fans of the Larry Talbot adventures will catch onto the fact this is comedy from the very first scene and the film only gets funnier as it continues to echo the 1941 film "The Wolf Man" for its first several minutes... right up to the point where our hero flushes the Gypsy charm that was to stop his transformation down the toilet. Then the political satire kicks into high gear, and the film is off and running like a dirty presidential campaign.

This is a fun, offbeat flick that could well be considered a classic if it wasn't so incompetently made on just about every level but the script. The editing is bad, the pacing is off at several points--unfortunately, all the key ones; with the one where Chinese premiere, the U.S. President, and the transforming werewolf are together high over Washington D.C. in a helicopter being nearly ruined because of it--and the camera work and lighting is mostly awful, serving more to undermine a sense of dread than enhance it.

But the films weaknesses are almost overcome by a sharp script that is brought to life by strong performances from talented actors. Dean Stockwell is particularly good in this film, delivering an edgy and far-roaming performance that will have you laughing in one scene and feeling sorry for him in the very next one. He is ably supported by the rest of the cast, especially Biff McGuire (as a president whose brain is only as active as his teleprompter or whatever advisors happen to be around) and Clifton James (as an Attorney General--or maybe VP... I'm a little confused on this point, based on references within the film--with terminal foot-in-mouth disease) are both lots of fun.

Another selling point for this film is that, although it was made as a satire of Washington politics in the days of the Nixon Administration it works equally well almost 40 years later; the President is a fine analogy for Obama, and the loudmouth AG/VP is a near pitch-perfect spoof of Biden, and all one would have to do would replace South-East Asia references with the Middle East and this film would be reshot without any other script changes and seem completely fresh and original.

I'm not sure if that's a fact that should make us laugh or cry over how long our political system has been rotten and how little "change" the Paragon of Hope and Change has brought us.

Despite its flaws, "The Werewolf of Washington" is a film that's well worth checking out by anyone to appreciates well-crafted political satire and horror spoofs.

Bela Lugosi's only color film is a bit of a mystery

Scared to Death (1947)
Starring: George Zucco, Bela Lugosi, Nat Pendleton, Molly Lamont and Angelo
Director: William Christy Cabanne
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

In "Scared to Death", Laura Van Ee (Molly Lamont) relates the final few hours of her life where her sordid past caught up with her, and she was.. well, scared to death. She is on a slab in the morgue as she relates a tale of a loveless, yet co-dependent to an extreme degree, marriage to an ethics-challeged psychiatrist (Zucco); a discredited doctor and hypnotist, Leonid (Lugosi), and his ill-tempered long-time midget companion; a bumbling bodyguard (Pendleton) who wants nothing more than to have a murder occur, so he can solve it and get back in good standing with the police force; a super-annoying reporter and his airhead girlfriend; the skittish maid; and a mysterious blue-gree face that keeps hovering outside the windows. The presense of these strange and whacky characters all add up to Laura being dead by the movie's end... and being in the morgue where we started.

No... I'm not giving the ending away, because the title gives it away. The fact that the opening scene has Laura dead in teh morgue gives it away. So, suspense over whether she's going to live or die is never an issue in the film. How she is going is going to die isn;'t an issue either. The mystery as to "why" does come up every so often during the film, but it's not really something that viewers are all that concerned about. The insanity of the proceedings is more what we're focused on.


"Scared to Death" is either a really bad horror movie, or an incredibly quirky comedy (although not necessarily a good one). This short B-movie (which is one of Bela Lugosi's few color appearances, by the way) left me so confused about what the filmmakers had been hoping to accomplish that I did some searching online in hopes of finding some reviewer who could give me a little context.

Well, no one seems to have more of a clue about the film than I do, so I'm going with my opinion that "Scared to Death" was intended as a comedy--a horror movie spoof, actually--but it somehow went awry. (In fact, I think most of the reviewers I came across with my quick Google search have looked at "Scared to Death" in the wrong way. I don't think it was intended as a horror film, at least not when principle shooting was going on.)

Every actor, except the woman who is being scared to death, delivers their parts and their lines in a comedic fashion. (If you take a look at comedies from the 30s and 40s, you'll know what I mean by that.) I've seen Nat Pendleton as the comic relief screwball character in two or three other films (most notably the very excellent "Trapped by Television" ), but his antics pale next to those of Lugosi and his look-alike midget buddy, and several other minor characters that appear. Further, Lugosi's delivery as he plays Dr. Leonid is very similar to how he played his parts in the clear-cut comedies "The Gorilla" and "Abott and Costello Meet Frankenstein". (In fact, critics often praise Lugosi's comedic timing in "Meet Frankenstein", but I think his talent for comedy is even more clear in "Scared to Death" during his scenes with the cranky midget.

If considered as a pseudo-screwball comedy horror spoof, "Scared to Death" is not all that bad--if very, very strange. The film never manages to build the frenetic pace it would need to fully work, because the unfolding chaos is constantly interrupted by cut-aways to Laura at the morgue so she can deliver obvious and dull commentary on what we've just seen, or are about to see.

If viewed as a horror film, "Scared to the Death" is a complete and total disaster--unscary and utterly insipid--that is made worse by the lame cut-aways to the morgue and the tension-dispelling framing device that establishes Laura is already dead.

However you think of the film, the morgue scenes don't fit. In fact, they feel out of place and tacked on. They lead me to suspect that they were added by studio executives who were trying to reshape a bizarre comedy into a horror movie, because, according to two different websites, "Scared to Death" was completed several years before its 1947 release date.

If I'm right in my speculation--and it is just speculation, as I haven't done all that much research--I can't help but wonder what "Scared to Death" might have looked like if it had remained the comedy is was intended to be.

I'm giving "Scared to Death" a four-star rating, because I'm treating it like a comedy. If it wasn't for the morgue cut-aways, it would be a Five or Six film. (If I were to treat it like a horror film, we'd be talking One or Two Stars, and those would be awarded unintentional comedy.)

'Fangs of the Living Dead' has no bite

Fangs of the Living Dead (1969)
Starring: Anita Ekberg, Julian Ugarte, John Hamilton, Diana Lorys, Adriana Ambesi, and Guy Roberts
Director: Amando de Ossorio
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A model (Ekberg) is summoned to her ancestral home to receive her inheritance. She comes under the influence of her sinister uncle (Ugarte) and the cult of vampires that is forming around him.

"Fangs of the Living Dead" plays like a lobotomized version of "Dracula", with several scenes heavily inspired by the novel and with Ekberg's Sylvia standing in for Jonathan Harker, crossed with a "dark old house" movie and flavored with the graphic sensibilities and tight dresses of 1960s Hammer gothic horror flicks. If the filmmakers had stuck with this approach, the over-the-top acting, the melodramatic dialogue, and the dippy characters would all add up, whether intentional or not, to a hilarious send-up of the gothic horror genre. The overblown soundtrack music only makes it all the more funny. Unfortunately, it's all ruined when writer/director Amando de Ossorio tries his hand at a twist ending that tries to undo everything that unfolded in the film and reduces what was funny to a level of idiocy. And the twist on the twist doesn't help any. In fact, these are such misguided twists that one wonders if everyone involved with the production has severe memory issues, as it doesn't fit with much of what unfolded earlier. (That said, the "twist" itself could be a misfired attempt at spoofing horror movies, which would mean the movie was intended as a send-up all along; in the 1930s and 1940s, it wasn't uncommon for the supposed supernatural elements in a film to be written off through a revelation in the third act that it was all a hoax. The most blatant example of this can be found in "Mark of the Vampire".)

The film is further crippled by the fact that headliner Anita Ekberg is miscast. At 38, she was a bit long in the tooth to play the part of the "naive young heiress" and as a result she comes across more like a blonde so dumb that calling her retarded would be a compliment.

However, for all its weaknesses, the film features some nice cinematography, and the director manages to evoke a chilling atmosphere here and there, especially during the sequence when Ekberg is running around the castle in terror, and the one that riffs on the "Dracula" scene where the heroes wait for the undead Lucy in the graveyard. The drunken village doctor who stands in for the Abraham Van Helsing character is also a great deal of fun... and then there's the vamp-on-vamp battle to the death during the film's climax, one of the great cat-fights in cinematic history.

In the end, though, the bad far outweighs the good. The film rates the lowest possible Three I can give it, and it is only suitable for viewing as part of a Bad Movie Night.

Paul Nashcy shines in dual role

Horror Rises from the Tomb (1973)
Starring: Paul Naschy, Emma Cohen, Helga Line, Víc Winner, and Betsabe Ruiz
Director: Carlos Aured
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Hugo du Marnac (Nashcy) comes into possession of the severed head of an ancestor who was exectued for witchcraft centuries ago (also Naschy). Unlike many of those so condemned, Hugo's forebearer was a REAL warlock, and he's been waiting for centuries to have his head reunited with the rest of his body, so he can ressurect his witch-wife (Line) and resume their lives devoted to Satan and Evil. Subsequently, murder, mayhem, and water-logged zombies threaten to completely ruin Hugo and his friends' vacation in the French countryside.


"Horror Rises From the Tomb" starts slow, but once it gets going, it emerges as one of the best movies Paul Naschy made. The resurrection scenes, the heart-ripping scene, and the zombies shambling out of the lake are all very effective moments with images that will remain with you long after the movie is over. Naschy is also a bit more energetic than usual, bringing lots of energy to the roles he plays in this film--especailly to the evil warlock Alaric. Whether he's a head-in-a-box, or the resassembled servant of Satan, Naschy radiates evil here.

The supporting cast is decent, with the female leads being not only gorgeous to look at, but okay actresses to boot. The film is also well photographed and the filmmakers made excellent use of both the desolate landscapes and the decaying buildings that serve as the film's setting.

'The House by the Cemetery' isn't worth visiting

The House by the Cemetery (1984)
Starring: Katherine MacColl, Paolo Malco, Giovanni Frezza, and Ania Pieroni
Director: Lucio Fulci
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A researcher (Malco) moves with his family to Boston to complete the work started by a collegue who committed suicide. Through a flurry of coincidences (or Fate, or maybe the researcher's specific manipulation, take your pick), they end up in a creepy house that is tied to the subject of the research. Ghosts, unkillable bats, and weird murders then drive the young family toward doom.

If you like your horror flicks with a high level of well-done gore but don't care whether the story hangs together well, then this is a film for you.

One part haunted house movie, one part slasher flick, and with a dash of mad science thrown in out of left field for good measure, " House by the Cemetery" exhibits all the strength and weaknesses that were the hallmarks of Italian horror movie makers in the Seventies and Eighties; the gore is appropriately disgusting--although the highmark in this film is definately the maggot-infested insides of the film's monster!--but there are characters who behave inconsistently or incomprehsibly and the script writers seem more concerned with getting from plot contrievance to plot contrievance, or providing excuses for the special efffects crew to go to work than they are with providing a story that hands together sensibly by the time the End Credits roll.

I know Fulci has his strong admirers, and I'm sure they will find much to like in this movie, but I was too annoyed with the coincidences, pointless ambiguities, and just plain random junk that pass for the story to get much enjoyment from it. It wasn't even fun nonsense, like you get in the Monogram and PRC horror movies from the 1930s and 1940s; it was just nonsense. (And if you are an admirer of this film, can you explain the behavior of the creepy babysitter [played by Ania Pieroni] to me? That annoyed me more than anything else in the picture.)

Oh... and that picture I used to illustrate this review? It appeared on a German poster for the flick, It's a cool painting, even if it has little do to with what actually happens.

Murder and mayhem and malfunctioning zombies...oh my!

Death Warmed Up (1985)
Starring: Michael Hurst, Margaret Umbers, William Upjohn, Gary Day, and Norelle Scott
Director: David Blyth
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Evil Dr. Howell (Day) brainwashes young Michael (Hurst) to murder his parents, because they annoy him. Michael then spends several years in a mental institution, while Howell goes onto turning most of the residents of a small island into brain-surgically altered zombies that are controlled by sound waves (or, at the very least, beeper signals)... that is, when they're not malfunctioning and going on violent murder and rape sprees. Michael is eventually released from the loonie bin, and brings three friends to Howell's island, hoping to gain revenge. Mayhem, motorcycle chases in underground tunnels, zombie rampages, and the violent deaths of innocent friends ensue.


This movie makes absolutely no sense. I've had dreams that were more coherent than "Death Warmed Up".

In this movie, we have a mad doctor doing experiments on a massive scale, yet there's no indication where his funding is coming from, or why the authorities haven't taken notice. He's got an army of zombies with some sort of brain implants that malfunction every now and then... sometimes the malfunctioning zombies are killed, sometimes they're put in a storage locker (where disgruntled employees can release them when the plot calls for it). We've got zombies driving motorcycles in the tunnels near the mad doctor's sprawling facility, because that is a GREAT way to keep out intruders, I imagine.

And then we have our heroes. I'm not even going to start attempting to explain their actions (and lack thereof). I will wonder, though, why, if Michael came to the island in search of Dr. Howell, why did he drag three friends (two of them wholly ignorant about Michael's past) along... and why does he spend time romping on the beach with them?

The film is watchable if you approach it like a really stupid logic puzzle... or if you're throwing a Bad Movie Party and looking for something to round out the lineup. Otherwise, you're better off ignoring "Death Warmed Up."

'The Devil's Nightmare' is a dream of a horror flick

The Devil's Nightmare
(aka "Castle of Death", "The Devil's Longest Night" and "Succubus") (1971)
Starring: Erika Blanc, Jacques Monseau, Shirley Corrigan, and Jean Servais
Director: Jean Brismée
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

A tour group (six travelers and their driver) who takes refuge in an isolated castle during a storm falls victim to the family curse of its owner, Baron Von Rhoneberg (Servais), as a succubus (Blanc) proceeds to kill them one by one after tempting them into performing one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Will a young seminary student be able to save their souls, or will he too be tempted to sin?


"The Devil's Nightmare" is a nifty little film that meshes gothic horror and 1970s pop mysticism with great effect. While the actiing is terrible--with the exception of Erika Blanc (who shows herself to have an astonishing ability to transform her face from sexy to sinister with very little help from make-up and lighting), and Jean Servais (who in his relatively brief time on screen manages to present a character who is both sympathetic and monstrous)--and the dubbed dialogue is nothing spectacular, the swift pacing of the film, the clever deaths of the characters, and the curious, almost fairytale-like atmosphere that hangs over the proceedings easly make up for the film's shortcomings and make it a fun viewing experience.

Erika Blanc's revealing dinner/victim-stalking outfit is also a plus in the film's favor. :D

As with many of these European horror films from the 1960s and 1970s, there are several cuts available, often under the same title. The version watched for this review was released by Redemption and can be found in at least one DVD multipack from Brentwood ("Kiss of Death"). It includes a baby-stabbing scene and an extended bit of lesbian nookie which I don't recall from when I saw the film a few years ago. (And I'm pretty sure I would have remembered both of them.) As such, this is probably the best cut avaialable, and if you're interested in the film, it's the one you should seek out.

There's an odd little "extra" that's included on the Redeption and Brentwood versions. It's got an Elvira wanna-be and a pair of bare-breasted lesbian cannibals doing some sort of half-assed introduction--and it's so half-assed that a text screen eventually provides information about the film. While I suppose it might fill a need for boobage, I personally found myself shuttling past the nonsense to get to the movie.

Interesting movie choked under a crushing amount of padding

Grave of the Vampire (aka "Seed of Evil") (1974)
Starring: William Smith, Michael Pataki, Lyn Peters, Kitty Vallacher, and Eric Mason
Director: John Hayes
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

James Eastman (Smith) is a dhampire, a creature who is part human and part vampire. He has spent his adult life tracking the vampire (Pataki) who raped his mother... and the final confrontation is close at hand.


"Grave of the Vampire" is noteworthy for horror fans, because it actually contains a greater amount of material based on actual vampire myths than 99 percent of the vampire fiction, comics, and movies out there. While the film does give its vampire a strangely magnetic personality, he is primarily just a brutal monster.

Unfortunately, the movie is also very, very slow with redundant scenes that drag on and often establish the same plot point multiple times in different ways. It doesn't so much feel padded as just drawn out and in need of an editor. I suppose that given it was probably made with distribution to drive-in theaters in mind this might have been a good approach, because couples could make out and still have a chance of following the movie... but for the modern viewer waching it on TV, this lends itself to a boring rather than thrilling experience. (Although... maybe that's just the case for old fogeys like me. Current teens can now make out in the comfort of their parents' TV room and follow the movie at the same time!)

Another strike against the movie is the acting. The acting ranges from blah to horrible. Michael Pataki is creepy as the monstrous vampire rapist, William Smith is decent as the dhampire out for revenge, and Eric Mason is passable as a police detective tracking the vampire early on, but most of the other actors display how little talent they have instead of the other way around.

Director John Hayes does deserve some credit for enfusing the film with a steady, oppressive, downbeat mood. Despuite indifferent camerawork, he makes great use of lighting and fog machines to create an atmosphere that manages to convey chills to the viewer despite the film's flaws. With some heavy editing this could have been a scary little move, even with the substandard actors. The story has plenty of potential... the execution was just botched.