Rewinding back to the 1st day of uni...

Sawadeekha dear readers!! sabai di mai?

how is ur day? good i hope!

today's post is a nostalgic one down memory lane..its also gonna be very long as i looked thru my 13 albums of uni life in penang i felt my life has been worth it!

if ur lazy to read just scroll down..

4 years ago i underwent the perfect character building training! i completed my super hard form 6 and enrolled into USM.

i always taught i knew everything in life n wont give a hoot to anybody who disliked my attitude cause they can suck it up! well, the 1st year of uni was crap as i was a selfish, super proud , forever cursing and pampered annoying bitch who complained about everybody n everything! i cant believe i was so irritatingly demanding as i sat down to recall past events..

i remember the 1st week was the worst. enrollment week was like hell week. the weather was so F****** hot and the toilets were worst than public ones and food sucked n i was missing everything home..i
cried and went into sucky mode for at least 1 month. i hated it so much i even tot of going to deparment to withdraw my name n go home to bum! 

what a fool i was.

my worldly possessions into uni.

hostel life was quite bad..we had to share 3students to a room study on the lower bunk and sleep on the upper bunk with the fan facing the door not us humans. it was a HELLHOLE for 2 years.

gradually i made frens..and more frens and took part in uni activities n outings.

-i even went to church called Wesley Methodist Church Penang, had a cell group n PKA in uni.

-i went back hometown on my 7hour busride VERY frequently during 1st year cause i was always home sick n i was glad my hometown buddies were understanding n we exchanged jokes about diff sufferings in our respective unis! 

-My best fren was also my inspiration as she had a place in HK University n had to strive harder than me n she made it so i felt we were soildering on together! thank u Mary Anne for always callling n emailing eventho u were very busy at that time.

-my family especially my dear mother was my pillar of strength as she heard me whine whine whine but never once yelled back but patiently guided me thru and thru my panic attacks and periods of fury!

my parents have sacrificed so much financially to support me thru uni and i feel indebted to them. i love u guys!

i love my bestie very much!

hometown buddies chilling at my place

church frens!

cg mates!

nice people from church

at the booth of Drama presentation giving out tickets

Hari Kokurikulum USM!

Red Crescent first aid exams

on duty during thaipusam

my uni PKA buddies!

 besides that i had tremendous emotional support from my old roomies who were my seniors who passed me their notes and shared their life stories with me. they were not rich n yet they had such great passion n hope in life. their simplicity touched my life to see that there was more to life than money n material wealth! (eventho they were tight in $$ i remember once they bought me a huge luggage bag  for me to keep stuff at the end of the sem - from tesco n carried it all the way back to hostel n hid it to surprise me. their sincere generosity touched me so much i almost cried. )most importantly they never judged me n taught me to be gentle n to appreciate the small things in life. in the eyes of others they might be nerds who never go out to play or socialise but in my eyes they were my greatest comforter n teacher..

can u imagine living in such a small place with no ventilation for 2 years? i did! yay!

my roomie cooked healthy brown rice for me!

besides them i had tons of my cousemates and housemates (when i moved out to a rented house called  "rumah 28") who shared the ups and downs of life . we studied n fought deadlines together. we gossiped and laughed, we cried our own tears in this uphill journey of studying..we comforted each other and did plenty of fun stuff together. my depression was partly healed because i had them to keep me busy, to keep me emotionally happy n to recover fully. there were times we fought n showed black faces but i dont remember much of that. i choose to retain happy memories in my cerebral cortex (see i remember classes) and i will fondly remember how u all (housemates) were kind enough not to hurt my feelings n eat my BURNT food which i always cooked n always forced u guys to" try lah try lah". sadly until this day my cooking skills have not improved. i'm still scared of the fish POPPING in the kuali lah!

eating room cooked porridge in joyce's room during puasa time when all canteens were shut

after our first presentation in history of usm

mai, adeline, nadia and nabila i miss u all!

i'm very multicultural when it comes to frens!

whops u didnt see that behind..

fav chillout spot- MC D!

during animal presentation thingy for a course

PBSM dinner

me cooking something n running away shouting for help the next minute as i cant stand the oil popping!

me and adel sharing a light moment!

sushi king promo with suna, juwie n ling mei!

our very first time clubbing. it was a great deal to me cause i came from a small place n yearned to see the insides of it

how could i ever forget the love i had for my guinea piggys. i even brought them to classes!

taking part in practice micro teaching classes

my funny fren ling mei

my funny roomie with curly hair!

micro teaching taught me how to carry myself as a teacher. somebody prim and proper i guess

suppertime with nadia and mai!

this picture i love the most as it captures all the coursemates and housemates together!

happy birthday jess in our pajamas!

thank u allyson for inviting us to ur house

thank u girls for making break time and lecture time so funny n exciting with all our buzz buzz talking!!

when uni was over we all transformed i guess?

i felt accepted n suddenly life was not so glum n down.. no doubt i complained alot but i got hit rock bottom so so many times i really felt like giving up. one instance was when my ex-bf cheated on me on girls (plural) and suddenly my whole world came crashing down..i cried n went into depression for 6 months! after coming out of it i realised it was ME! it was my bitchy behavior that drove him away. i swore to be a better person. i swore to be more humble n to receive correction, to remain silent when talking was not needed, to remain patient even in the worst of times. it was SO DAMN hard to be humble but God taught me the hard way..

i loved n broke up a few times inbetween but i was determine to not be stagnant n wallow in self pity..i believe one day i will love again wholeheartedly.. 

It was in penang that i discovered so much food, so much things to see, to do that i forgot why i hated it in the first place..

It is here that i..

Found a job that taught me "PATIENCE, RESILIENCE, CUNNING-ness n COMMUNICATION SKILLS" all in one..this is where i started going by "Creampuff" the jolly clown who sings n jumps like a little frog! thanks to this job i have eaten the finest food, entered the mansions and best hotels, taken pictures with people of all walks of life both super rich n less fortunate. it opened my eyes to many things in life..

my first ever debut at Park Royal Hotel buffet. see my horrible make up bag and ill matched shoes..but that has all changed..hehee

i wanna thank the tall guy samuel for giving me this job!

 This is where i caught my FIRST FISH! the thrill of the fish tugging at the end of the line send an adrenaline rush nothing else can compare. i swear!

my first ever haruan catch at baling, kedah!

This is where i first got my motor licence after almost 1 year of presuading my parents.

also the first place where i got into a minor painful accident few months afterthat! haha

my whole toe almost came off cause of my stupidity! haha

This is the very place i became a real teacher in SMK convent pulau tikus. despite the rough patches we went thru i'm glad i was not alone. thank u Farhana, Darshini, Neshalini(especially for being our ketua n responsible for everyhing) and Normala. i love the companionship n interpersonal touch in getting to know my students lives.

i actually wrote longer than this but the stupid blogspot cancelled it all away i'm SUPER damn pissed at the moment. it cancelled so many of my pictures n words!! ARGHHH~!!! it only saved until this point. so i will end here. 

 

i really hope i am no longer that discontented disillutional bitch i once was. if i still am i swear i'm trying to change. 

come this september i graduate with honours from USM. its been my dream to graduate since i stepped into uni but now it feel like time has passed so quickly n i feel cheated. guess i'm not ready to let go.

 there are many others who have touched my life in these 4 years and u know who u are =) many photos not placed on top cause some are meant for my personal memory (so u guys wont think i'm boasting or boring u out!)

to hear my father say that he is proud of me and to hear my mother smile behind the phone is the greatest satisfaction of my life. now i know my 4 years of pain and tears have been worth it! and God has seen me thru it all. All glory is His!

 All my life i've been searching and asking "Where do i belong" now i know its not in penang or seremban or whever i roam..its in the hearts of those who love n accept me for who i am =)