thank u Mr.X

HELO DEAR READERS!

today's post is NOT going to be emo and sad. dont worry lahh! ;P
please dont roll ur eyes at me for keep on mentioning him! lol!

a post dedicated to Mr.X (loyal blog readers will know who he is as he's a frequent mention in many older posts)

he who has stolen my heart, broken my heart, rejected almost every action i taken, made me go insane,  made my mood swing up n down, suffered from bad insomnia and stressed for so many months of my life.
i never once blamed him but blamed myself for the prolonged shitty times.

i thought i loved him so passionately but i'm not so sure now. (he never liked me anyways so it was always 1 way)

but it is also him whom i have to THANK for what i am today.

to THANK HIM for opening my mind to new things, for allowing myself to force to be brave enough to go out n meet new people to forget him, do and experience new things to forget him. to try and to wake up n carry on with life with such force eventho its against my weak heart.
to eventually break out of my comfortable cocoon of blindness.

 in the process i have built up a bigger network of friends,exchanged ideas n feelings, raised self confidence and finally know how to handle emotions better. i feel more passionate about life n i have gained back that smile n peace in my heart! (Praise God n thanks to all my friends who have been there emotionally)

like when u break a branch off a tree, the tree grows another one in its place, stronger n sturdier!

never once did i think that heartbreak would lead to such character development.

i try to break free from this circle of self pity n trying to win his attention because i realise that way i would be forever in the same pathetic position. the more i try to break free the more i allow new things in my life.

 time does heal. time does open doors to new things. and God will never let me down.

i dedicate this song to all the broken hearted and love sick people in the same position. Its ok to be sad in the beginning but never allow it to overpower u to the extend of forgetting ur own identity.

and i like my life simple n honest. no boy problems, no money problem (i stopped shopping addiction) no stress from studying or conflicts with friends or family, no health problems <---i dont need any of these and hope they dont come clashing in my mind.

for all those who have loved n lost or heartbroken i believe its normal to have overwhelming emotions ( u are not mad, u WILL get over it), to have love take control of everything u do. to consume u and lose rationality.

 for in the end, God did create emotions and placed them in our hearts. the very beautiful gift that makes us human. the very same thing that makes us feel alive and purposeful. :)

currently i'm not like the happiest person of them all neither am i emotionally disturbed n emo.

i'm just plain content. hope you also can find peace n contentment in ur life ;) cheers!