breakup letter LITERALLY TRANSLATED!

Elo pepz
all i did today was watch movies, eat mr potato (2 packets) sausages and french toast and alot of YOUTUBE-ING!!
either i'm gonna be blind soon or fat or dumb soon
continuation of exams is next wed u see..and i have done NOTHING! omg and it feels good
stumbled upon this interesting piece of work.

funny only if u understand MALAY and then see how direct translation can make u laugh ur ass off..

A tribute to my guinea piggy-mimi

this is a picture of mimi the very first day i got it (about 9 months ago).  i remember how small it was back then.

the shop keeper told me it was a SHE but later after almost a year i discovered it was a HE hence the girlish name. haha..but thats okay. 

the saddest thing happened to my beloved g.piggy and he died last Tuesday..= (

it happened on a Tuesday morning when i was having my FIRST EXAM paper. i went to clean their cage and feed them as usual when i realized that both were not their greedy self and not making any noises. i popped their house up and was horribly shocked to discover that Mimi was lying  upside down motion-lessly!!! 

i panicked and screamed for help and Elene my roomie came to my rescue. Mimi was still breathing but he seemed paraylsed and i swear i saw him cry from his eyes..

the whole morning was a blur as i kept panicking and we kept going in circles trying to find a vet or pet store to help Mimi. the damn rotten vet near our house (PENG AUN vet) REFUSED to treat my guinea pig ( i curse them with bad business.) then Juwie googled and found another vet and it DID treat guinea pigs.

doctor Joshua from HOPE clinic was a very kind and patient young chap who took the time to explain and do all kinds of things like taking temperature and flashing torchlight into Mimi's eyes. the dignosis was bleak. Mimi had either broke his neck while falling down from house or sustained brain injury and now like paralyze victim. 

=( if u were there u would cry too as it was as if ur own baby child was sick and all u could do was hear more and more bad news and HELPLESS to do anything. it was either put him to sleep or go home and wait slowly for Mimi to die naturally. The vet (God bless his soul) didn't charge me anything probably he knew we were students?

what would u do if u saw ur beloved most precious pet in pain and unable to breathe properly or swallow smashed food from a syringe? i tried to blend food and inject it slowly into his mouth like the doctor said but he was not swallowing well and he looked at me with blank lifeless eyes. he kept crying and making this sad pathetic whimper that make me shed my tears uncontrollably..

it was torturing to bring him to the vet to be put to sleep. on the way on the motor i kept talking to him and tears were naturally dropping again and again..this is my last picture of him alive and it kills me to remember the time i whispered to him at the vet saying my last goodbyes.

i kissed his face and told him i loved him and i had to go.. i smelled his grass and guinea pig smell for the last time.

as i walked away from the cold metal table where he was lying, i felt like something in my heart broke into a thousand pieces and it pieced every organ in my body. the pain was indescribable. i had failed him. i had abandoned him and i let him die..

the vet would cremate him on my behalf because i couldn't think of bringing him back lifeless and having to bury him and watch him go under soil...oh never!

looking back at all the pictures of happier times we had makes me all emo and teary again..

i had loved him so much..

i wish it had never happen..

i was not ready to say goodbye..

thank you for all the adventures we had, all the fun and all sad times.

thank you for making our house 28 a happier place with somebody to greet us when we left for class and when we return from a tiring day at uni..

you brought tremendous joy to the lives of all who have seen, touched and loved u.

thank you for the gift of understanding and calmness u always had.

thank you for teaching me perseverance,  gentleness and unconditional love.

 i miss u more than u ever know..

i love you So much Mimi..and i still do..always.

rest in peace now my love..your suffering has ended..

"when u have pets that u truly love and cherish,  they don't die and forgotten like animals on the street, they die taking a great piece of your soul and heart.."

Funny penang road names in hokkien

well good to know.every road name has a meaning that tells us the history in penang.

 
chulia street = gu kan tang
love lane = ai ching hang
muntri street = lam wah ee eng kai
leith street = len hua ho
beach street(jalan pantai) = tua kei
carnavan street = lam cha na
prangin road = kang nga ki
burmah road = cheah chui lo ( car water road)
campbell street = sin kei
cintra street = jepun hoi kei
kampung melaba = jepun sin lo
macalister road = tiong lo
abu siti lane = sam seng hang ( banyak samseng kat sini?)
perak road = tuah lo aw(big road behind)
peel avenue = tai chu lo
bricklin road = hong cheah lo
market street = bei chai kei (sell vege chicken)
kimberley street = suah tao kei (mountain head chicken)

 

The advice in title is only good thing here

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
(aka "Revenge of the Living Dead" and "Things from the Dead") (1972)
Starring: Alan Ormsby, Seth Sklarey, Valerie Mamches, Jeff Gillen, and Anya Ormsby
Director: Bob Clark
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A practical joke-loving, hippie film director (Ormsby) travels with his cast and crew to an island cemetary to shoot his new movie. When one of Alan's gags go awry, and graves are desecrated, the corpses on the island reanimate... and they're hungry for the flesh of the living!


"Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things" is a sub-standard zombie flick. It has a few scary moments, but in general it's badly acted, badly paced, and festooned with bad make-up and gore effects.

There is are interesting kernels of ideas in the script--the careless attitude that is on display regarding the living, the dead, and all things sacred stands as an interesting commentary on the filmmaking business--but they are barely visible due to the amateurish script and bad acting. (The best actor of the bunch is Ormsby, and even he seems like his just running lines most of the time. The rest of it seems like he's doing a bad parody of John Carradine.)

Lovers of the "Return of the Living Dead" may find something here to appreciate--and a distribution company thought the same, so when the film was re-released it got a title that called that series to mind--but the rest should probably take a pass on this one.

'Mrs. Amworth' is a decent vampire tale

Mrs. Amworth (2007)
Starring: Magenta Brooks, Jim Nalitz, Daniel Ross, and Christy Sullivan
Director: Frank Sciurba
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Recently widowed Mrs. Amworth (Brooks) returns from years abroad to take possession of her family home and lands in the quiet town of Wilton... and soon mysterious deaths start occuring. Is it coincidence, or, is she, as the town doctor (Nalitz) comes to suspect, or is she one of the walking dead--a vampire? And if he's right, will he be able to stop her from destroying a young photographer (Ross) and his journalist wife (Sullivan)?


"Mrs. Amworth" is a vampire movie that's worth seeing for its very strong feeling of a classic vampire tale. In fact, this film conveys more of the tone, feeling, and subtext of Stoker's "Dracula" novel than any movie adaptation of it I've seen, including the one titled "Bram Stoker's Dracula".

The film a bit slowly paced--there are a few scenes that I'd even accuse the director of arranging the way they are because he was padding the film's run-time--but it's because of the pace that it captures the feel of traditional vampire stories so well. It also brings to the screen more effectively than any other vampire movie I've seen the underlying fear of The Stranger/Foreign that so permeated Stoker's novel. In this film, Mrs. Amworth is the outside corrupting influence that enters into a peaceful community and happy circle of friends, bringing death and terror.

For all my talk about "Dracula", this film is actually a loose adaptation of E.F. Benson's vampire story "Mrs. Amworth." The film contains some of the key scenes from the story, but they aren't set up very effectively, and they feel like they're included almost to make sure that there's more left of original source than its title. For example, Mrs. Amworth's apparent death by car accident is set up in the story from the beginning, and it could easily have been done so in the film, but instead it just sort of comes out of left field. (The film also has a different ending than the short story, one that I supposed was devised partly due to budget, partly to not make the film COMPLETELY traditional as far as vampire stories go. Being something of a traditionalist myself, and given that this movie feels VERY traditional to me, up until the ending, I wish they'd gone with something closer to the short story.)


In the final analysis, "Mrs. Amworth" is a decent, if unspectacular, vampire movie. The actors in the film are okay, although no one in particularly stands out; they all do a creditable job. The same is true of the cinematography and overall direction of the film... it's a solid bit of work, but nothing particularly spectacular. The script could have done with a little more polish, as some of the dialogue is flatter than pancakes, and, as mentioned above, some of the scenes feel like they've been padded.

As low-budget vampire films go, "Mrs. Amworth" is a good effort that's worth checking out.






(You can also read the short story upon which the film was based at my Fiction Archive by clicking here.)

Bava delivers badly done proto-slasher

5 Dolls for an August Moon (aka "Island of Terror") (1970)
Starring: Ira von Furstenberg, Ely Galleani, Maurice Poli, Teodoro Corra, William Berger, Edwige Fenech, Helena Ronee, Howard Ross and Edith Meloni
Director: Mario Bava
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A business magnate (Corra) invites four couples to spend the weekend at his isolated island retreat as part ofa strategy to convince a maverick scientist (Berger) to sell him the formula for a new industrial plastic. It's all fun, games, and fornication until someone starts murdering the guests.


"5 Dolls for an August Moon" is a mostly thrill-free thriller that is a jumbled, inept attempt at presenting a "Ten Little Indians"-style tale of murder and mayhem which features characters so generic most of them are impossible to tell apart, the most inexplicable recurring example of Stupid Character Syndrome I've ever seen on film and what is almost certainly the most inappropriate musical score since the invention of the talkie.

For those who don't know, Stupid Character Syndrome is where the characters in the film behave in a braindead fashion or fail to act on facts they know because it would cause a badly constructed story to fall apart. In the case of this movie, it's the way everyone seems to forget about Isabela, a cute young woman (played by Ely Galleani) who is also present on the island, except when they run into her or ask her whether she's seen this missing person or that missing person pass by.

Isabel doesn't seem to be living at the house, nor anywhere else on the island for that matter, but no one seems surprised or disturbed to meet her wandering about. In fact, no one is even disturbed when she engages in obvious suspicious behavior while bodies are piling up, nor does anyone attempt to make her account for her whereabouts. The mental blind-spot the characters have toward Isabel is so severe that late in the film a character states, "The murderer has got to be one of the four of us!", referring to himself and the other three characters in the room. BUT WHAT ABOUT ISABEL?! There were FIVE people still alive on the island when that phrase was uttered, but everyone had, once again, forgotten about Isabel.

(Now, it's possible I may have missed a throw-away line where they came to conclusion that Isabel was dead, but I doubt it. Either this character was added late in the process for some reason and no-one bothered to intergrate it more fully into already filmed scenes, or this script simply was worse than the average Bava film.)

In addition to a bad script with cookie-cutter characters and massive holes, the film suffers from some truly awful soundtrack music. It starts with the fact that it's mostly performed what sounds like a Hammond Electric Organ, and it gets worse because apparently the filmmakers thought that something that sounds like circus music was appropriate to play whenever a dead body is shown hanging in the freezer. This, of course, might indicate that the film was supposed to be a dark comedy instead of a thriller; if this is the case, it's as much a failure as a comedy as it is a thriller.


Even the direction and photography is weak and unispired in the film. If I didn't know Mario Bava helmed this picture, I might have said that the film was made by someone who wanted to be Mario Bava but who didn't have enough talent. A number of Bava signatures--filming images reflected in pools of liquid, shots of characters far away down a passageway, or shooting through lattices--are featured in the film, but while I sometimes feel like he's trying to show off how clever he can be as far as how he films a scene, I feel in this movie like he's doing a bad imitation of himself. (That said, the film does feature one of the neatest, most creative track-shots/revelation of a dead body that I've ever seen--when a tray of glass balls is overturned, causing them to spill down a spiral staircase and come to rest next to the latest murder victim.)

A single flash of genius, however, goes not make this film worth seeing.

I read somewhere (DVD Verdict, maybe?) that Bava hated this movie. I can clearly see why, as there are many reasons to not like "5 Dolls for an August Moon". They all add up to a recommendation that you skip this movie, unless you've set yourself the goal of watching all Mario Bava pictures, or you're doing a study on the creation of the slasher film genre. Like Bava's "A Bay of Blood," this film is an evolutionary ancestor of "Halloween" and "Friday the Thirteenth"

Tales from just BEFORE the grave

Alien Zone (aka "House of the Dead" and "Zone of the Dead") (1978)
Starring: John Ericson, Ivor Francis, Charles Aidman, Bernard Fox, Richard Gates, Judith Novgrod, and Burr DeBenning
Director: Sharron Miller
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A filandering salesman (Ericson) loses his way back to his hotel and seeks shelter from a rainstorm in a rundown funeral home. The mortician (Francis) tells him the strange tales of how four of his "costumers" came to be in their coffins.


"House of the Dead" is structured like the better-known horror anthologies from the British production house Amicus. The movie consists of four short horror films and a framing device which is itself is a horror short. Like virtually every anthology film ever made, what we have here is mixed bag, ranging from pretty good to inoffensively plain. The shorts are somewhat more mystifying than what these films usually present, and the frame is not as creepy and/or ironic in its conclusion as I think the filmmakers may have believed, but it's decent enough.

As for the four stories, they start weak and get much better as the film progresses. The first two entries--one that sees a child-hating teacher (Novgrod) through the worst night of her life, and a mystifying little tale of a serial killer (DeBenning) who records his murders on a film camera--are unremarkable but inoffensive. They don't present any scares or decent laughs, but they are both short enough that you won't get bored before they reach their humdrum conclusions.

As for the four stories, the best of the lot is the one where a coldhearted, snobbish office-worker (Gates) finds himself trapped by an unseen person in a house of horrors; if there's any bit of film that may have served as a precursor for "Cube" or "Saw" films, it's this one. The second best deals with a pair of rival criminologists (Aidman and Fox), each of whom consider themselves to be the best in the world... and each of whom intend to see their rivalry ended in a most permanent fashion. Both of these tales hold some genuine chills, and they will also inspire chuckles in the audience as irony asserts itself in their closing moments.

If you like anthology films, I think you'll enjoy this one. It's no "From Beyond the Grave" or "Creepshow", but it's not bad.

exam serial murderer..

i'm SUPERWOMAN!! 

yesterday i was trying so hard to save my blogsite and i managed to restore all the settings back to normal! WOHOO!!

today woke up super early to go for 9 am paper. 2 killed and 3 more to be killed continuously .

in exam war - its KILL OR BE KILLED!!

i decided to pluck up all my energy and courage to be the ASSASSIN instead of victim!!

thanks for all those praying for me! =)

suddenly feeling nostalgic in the midst of studying and brain washing...

i wish i was back in year 1..

things were less complicated, much simplier and life so much more less contaminated than it is right now...it was good to have those younger carefree days...when knowing less was actually better than knowing at all.

Serial killer vs zombies at the die-ner

Die-ner (get it?) (2009)
Starring: Josh Grote, Liesel Kopp, Parker Quinn, Larry Purtell and Maria Olsen
Director: Patrick Horvath
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars


A wandering serial killer, Ken (Grote), is about to claim his latest victims at an isolated diner--an unhappily married couple (Kopp and Quinn)--when his past victims come back to haunt him. Literally. Ken's previous victims rise as unkillable zombies hungry of his flesh, as well as that of anyone who happens to be around him.

Every so often, I come across a low-budget indie film that should be required viewing for aspiring filmmakers everywhere, because its creators do everything right within the constraints of their time and budget.

"Die-ner (get it?) is one of those films.

With this movie, a first-time production group (first-time director/screenwriter, first-time producers, first-time stars, and so on...) have produced quality that people with hundreds of times their experience have not managed to achieve since the turn of the century--Charles Band, I'm looking at you.

First off, the director and producers clearly understood the constraints of their budget, and they conceived a story that takes place within a couple of different locations and that could be shot with minimal special effects. At no point did they overreach the means at their disposal, but you can see that they constantly made the most of what they had.

Second, the film is based on a great script. I often say that there is no excuse for any filmmakers to have a bad script, as the script is the one thing that should be completely in your control. It features some very funny lines and well-drawn characters. In fact, Patrick Horvath and the cast deserve much praise for managing to present us with characters we come to believe in and care about without slowing down the action or sacrificing any humor. More filmmakers need to take more care and time with their scripts, especially in the character development department.

Speaking of characters, a huge part of the film's success should be credited to its excellent cast. Its stars--Josh Grote as the smart-ass serial killer turned reluctant zombie slayer/researcher; Liesel Kopp & Parker Quinn as the feisty married couple who are struggling to escape both Ken and the zombies; and Larry Purtell as a hapless small-town sheriff--all give performances of a high caliber all too rarely seen in movies of this genre. Grote in particular is remarkable, as his inherent charm and delivery style of the laugh lines is such that he manages to make a truly detestable and twisted character fun to watch. (I could find no other credits for Grote with a Google search, but I certainly hope this can lead to more screen work for him. Movie lovers need more talent like this in our fare.)


The only real negative cricism I have of the film is that I feel some very odd choices were made with the editing and camera angles. The framing of many shots seem off--they reminded me of photos taken with cheap cameras that were available when I was a kid that didn't actually show you what would be in the picture when you looked through the viewfinder. The result is numerous scenes that seem like actors aren't quite on their marks or characters are doing things that should be in the frame but aren't.

If didn't happen so consistently throughout the film, I might have thought that the scene got screwed up due to a bad camera placement and the director and producters said "we don't have the time and money to reshoot.. fuck it" and let it stand. But it's so pervasive that it must have been an artistic decision. However, it's not an artistic decision I understand, and as interesting as it might be stylistically, it detracts more than it adds to the film.

This is not to say the film is perfect. Like the odd framing of shots, there are a couple of strange editing choices, although they might be the sort of thing that will be corrected between the advanced copy I viewed and the version that will make its way to a wider audience. There's also a bit with a zombie duct-taped to the floor which doesn't quite work, mostly because duct-tape isn't THAT adhesive but also because Grote keeps applying tape to the zombies chest during the scene when he should probably be taping arms and legs. (That may seem like nitpicking, but these elements really stood out as i watched the film, as they seemed like flaws rather than stylistic choices I don't get.)

Also, I would have l liked to have seen where that dream Ken had whenever he got conked on the head was going; it's the one loose end I wish had been tied up.

Still, the strong performances from the cast, the amusing dialogue, and the fast-paced story that still manages to work in plenty of character-defining bits make this one of the best low-budget pictures I've seen in recent years. And it's from a collection of first timers, all of whom I hope to see more from as their skills as craftsmen continue to grow.

Hardcore zombie movie fans may be disappointed by the level of gore in the film--it's fairly tame for this genre--but lovers of high-quality horror films won't be sorry for the time they spend on "Die-ner (get it?)".





For more information, visit the film's official website by clicking here.

Saturday Scream Queen: Barbara Crampton

Barbara Crampton is best-recognized by lonely housewives and unemployed men for her recurring roles on various day-time soap operas over the years. But for fans of horror and sci-fi movies, it's her roles in films from Full Moon and Empire Pictures that she is best known for.

Click here to read reviews of films featuring Barbara Crampton at The Charles Band Collection.

'Tiger Love' is a genre mish-mash

Tiger Love (aka "Legend of the Tiger" and "A Tiger's Love") (1977)
Starring: Stephen Tung and Hu Chin
Director: Lin Hsiu
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

After nearly being killed because of a feud between her family and that of the young man she loves, a young woman (Chin) is rescued by a tiger who falls in love with her. She soon gives birth to the son of her lover, and she raises him with tiger in isolation. When he is old enough, he decides to seek out his father, but he ends up falling in love with one of a beautiful pair of twins from the same family that his mother belongs to. This revives the feud and starts a violent and tragic chain of events that leads to the destruction of both families and the transformation of a kind guardian into a revenge-seeking demon.


Part third-rate Kung Fu movie, part Chinese low-class "Romeo & Juliet", part "Tarzan Meets Mowgli", and part horror movie, "Tiger Love" is a mishmash of elements that somehow manage to work. Sort of.

The first 2/3rds of the movie are slightly lackluster and predictable, with so-so performances made to appear even weaker by seriously dodgy dubbing. It also doesn't help that the only truly likable characters to appear in the film are the tiger, the human he loves, and her dippy son (played by Stephen Tung). Even his love interest--whose name I don't know, because this film is so obscure that it's not even listed at www.imdb.com so I can't research its cast list--is something of an obnoxious bitch. Gorgeous yes, but bitchy.

The martial arts fights that break out every now and then during the movie do little to add excitement to the film, as they are universally simplistic and run-of-the-mill. The film presents the idea that Stephen Tung's character was taught a unique form of martial arts by his mother's tiger guardian, but the idea is never used to any great advantage.

However, things get better in the last half hour or so. As the film moves toward its conclusion, it totally changes gears and mood, leaving behind the standard 1970s Kung Fu period piece romance/revenge flick tone and instead turns into a horror movie. Events cause the supernatural nature of the titular tiger to become fully manifest, and the films only truly exciting scenes follow. The final act of the film manages to elevate it from a low 5 to a love 6 rating, even if I would still have liked to see a slightly stronger ending.

Overall, a decent flick. It's not exactly great, but the sudden left turn into horror movie territory in the final act makes for interesting viewing.

Breaking a cinematic taboo over and over

Beware! Children at Play (1996)
Starring: Michael Robertson, Rich Hamilton, Robin Lilly, Mik Cribben, and Lorna Courtney
Director: Mik Cribben
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Some films--most perhaps--have their origin in a single idea or a single visualized scene. If those films are done poorly, it's obvious what that idea was. With "Beware! Children at Play", I think that idea was, "Hey... no one ever kills little kids in movies. Why don't we make a movie where we kill a dozen or more!"


In "Beware! Children at Play", horror novelist and paranormal investigator John DeWolfe (Robertson) travels with his wife and daughter to a small, isolated New Jersey village where his old Army buddy Ross (Hamilton) is the sheriff. More than a dozen children have vanished from the village in recent months, and Ross wants John's assistance in getting to the bottom of the matter. As they investigate, they uncover terror, tragedy, some really pathetic acting, and a very, very far-fetched plot.

With the exception of the climax, this film is about as predictable as they come. There are some mildly creative spins on the epic of Beowulf and Grendel, and there's enough meat to the story to keep the viewer engaged... so long as that viewer has a high tolerance for nonsense, bad acting, weak gore effects, and a town inhabited by every backwoods stereotype imaginable.

Oh... and you should keep in mind my first paragraph. If you don't like the idea of little children dying in droves, you should not even consider this movie... because a mass-murder of children is the film's high point.

Happy Earth Day!

Does one wish people "Happy Earth Day"? Or does one just shrug one's shoulders at what started as an interesting way to raise awareness about conservation and pollution prevention, but that has now become an excuse for the likes of Al Gore to spread pseudo-science and neo-fascist politicians to push their outrageous "cap and trade" proposals.

At any rate, here's a movie you might be considering as viewing material for your Earth Day celebration. (Assuming you are so crass as to watch movies during your Earth Day celebration. You should just be frolicking naked in a grove of trees.)


The Happening (2008)
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Ashlyn Sanchez, and Betty Buckley
Director: M. Night Shyamalan
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

The trees are tired of humanity tying swings to their branches, cutting them down, and filling the air with the C02 that they need to survive, so they get together and start making a neuro-toxin that causes people to kill themselves.


If you take a 1950s-style monster movie and replace the giant animals or rampaging mutant dinosaur with poison-producing trees, you have "The Happening". You also have a monster movie that's about as visually thrilling as "The Sound of Terror" where the menace was invisible dinosaurs. (Actually, a little less so, because you don't even get Ingrid Pitt and Soledad Miranda putting their assets on display. All we get in this monster movie is Zooey Deschanel coming across like she's just woken up from a long nap, or as if she's on Oxycontin.)

With the exception of evoking the vibe of the classic monster movie, "The Happening" doesn't really do anything else. "Boring" is the best word to describe it, because it isn't anywhere near as clever and insightful as Shyamalan and anyone else involved with it thought it was. "The Host" or "Godzilla" have more coherent and better-delivered environmental messages than this one... not to mention more interesting monsters.

And then there's the problem that everyone in the picture is as wooden as the trees that menace them. (Except John Leguizamo, but I suspect he would hog a scene if he was hired to play a corpse.)

So, on this Earth Day, you can allow yourself to be lulled to sleep by the non-happening "The Happening" while weeping into your pillow that the DVD copies of the film will be in land fills for thousands of years before degrading.

The most feared Nazi of them all: Ilsa

Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS (1975)
Starring: Dyanne Thorne, Sandi Richman, Jo Jo Deville, Gregory Knoph, Tony Mumolo, Uschi Digard, Maria Marx, Nicolle Riddell, and Georoge "Buck" Flowers
Director: Don Edmonds
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Ilsa, the big-breasted Nazi commandant of a concentration camp (Thorne), supervises a series of "medical experiments" that involve torturing women in the most gruesome and unusual fashions. Her hope is to prove that women are more psyscially tough than men, so that Hitler and his generals were allow them to serve on the frontlines of war. She is also on a quest for the ultimate orgasm... and when the freakishly well-endowed prisoner-of-war Wolfe (Knoph) is placed in her camp, she may well achieve it.

I don't often use posters with all the logos and taglines in place to illustrate articles, but the original one for this movie captures everything it's about with such accuracy that I simply had to use it.


One of the truest statements on the poster is that it's a "Different Kind of X." This is a movie that puts the "porn" in "torture porn." The various female torture victims are completely naked while they are cut, stabbed, frozen, cooked, beaten, raped and everything else in between. Ilsa is a sadistic maniac who would give Jigsaw and his girlfriend from the "Saw" series nightmares.

This isn't the sort of film I watch because I'm looking for entertainment; if I hadn't declared the "Nazis Quit!" mini-blogathon, I probably never would have watched a Nazi torture porn film. The too realistic violence in films like this make me ache in the various parts of my body where I've had broken bones or deep cuts, and all the screaming sets my nerves on edge. I had an idea of what I was in for when I slated this film for review--it was legendary when I was a kid and I dissuaded my friends from trying to rent it back when we were young teens and my family was the first with a VCR in the neighborhood--but I had no idea how bad it was.

Not "bad" in the sense of incompetent filmmaking and lousy acting [for the most part... a couple of cast-members must have been sleeping with the director or producer in real life, or I can't see how they ever made it past an audition, and some of the put-on German accents are hilariously awful). No, I'm referring to the fact that five minutes doesn't pass in the film where there isn't a scene of violent sex or brutal torture. It is amazing how much they managed to cram into one movie.

There is so much crammed in here, so much that had me cringing and squirming and making me wonder if I'd ever have an appetite again that the film virtually flew by. I think this is quite possibly one of the most effectively paced films I've ever seen. In fact, I think the only other movie that's had that effect on me--causing me to lose track of how much is left of the movie--once I started watching films with an eye toward writing reviews was "JFK." As much as it made me uncomfortable, I have to give the director credit for keeping me engrossed even as I was repulsed by what I was watching.


While this is without question a sleazy B-movie, it's a testament to its effectiveness that it's very watchable (assuming you want to watch scenes of rape and torture). When a film works as hard to be as offensive as this one is, it is usually boring or unintentionally hilarious. Neither is the case with this film. Heck, I wish there were scenes that were unintentionally funny, because I might be able to have some dinner right about now if there had been. (The closest we get is when Gregory Knoph tries to act, or even deliver lines. It's little wonder that this was his first and only screen credit.)

There are few films I've seen that make Nazis more disgusting that how they are portrayed in "Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS." The sad part is that many of the horrible acts shown in this film probably were perpetrated on human beings in real life.

If you're looking for a sleazy Nazi movie, you won't go wrong if you can lay your hands on a copy of this movie; it seems to be out of print in the United States--I borrowed the copy I viewed from a friend who gave me a long warning about the film, because he knows my tastes do not run in this direction. (He also lent me some other, lesser Nazi "torture porn" films which I will watch for the blogathon once my stomach settles.)

However, if you're a pain-numbed gorehound who thinks "Saw" is for pussies and "Urban Flesh" is too tame, maybe you will find yourself disappointed with what this, unarguably, superior early example of the "torture porn" horror subgenre.

Welcome to the dead-and-breakfast

House (2008)
Starring: Reynaldo Rosales, Heidi Dippold, J.P. Davis, Julie Ann Emery, Michael Madsen, Allana Bale. Leslie Easterbrook, Lew Temple and Bill Moseley
Director: Robby Henson
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Two couples (Dippold & Rosales and Davis & Emery) are trapped in an isolated country mansion-turned-hotel with murderous proprietors on the inside and a serial killer on the outside. It soon becomes apparent that there's more to the house than meets the eye, as the four victims are not just stalked by killers but also haunted by visions of deeply held, dark secrets. And is the mysterious girl who offers help and cryptic advice (Bale) a fellow prisoner or just another player in a sick and deadly game?

There is a lot to like about "House", particularly if you enjoy haunted house movies that are free of gore and sex. (I'm not entirely sure why its even rated R, as I've seen more foul language, sexuality, gory violence, and intense scenes in some PG-13 horror films.)

Sadly, it a far from perfect and in the end the flaws weigh more heavily on the film than that its good parts. It's better than most contemporary horror films because it breaks with them in a number of areas, but it's still not going to be counted among the classics.

Immortal Nazis add confusion to 'Cataclysm'

Cataclysm
(aka "The Nightmare Never Ends" "Shiver", and "Satan's Supper") (1981)
Starring: Cameron Mitchell, Marc Lawrence, Faith Clift, Robert Bristol, and Richard Moll
Directors: Philip Marshak and Tom McGowan
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A doctor (Clift) is chosen by God to be the one person who can defeat Satan's immortal servant on Earth (Lawrence). Will she act before it's too late, or will she listen to her militantly Atheist husband (Moll)? Meanwhile, a Holocaust survivor (Bristol) and a cop (Mitchell) are also on the trail of Satan's chosen one.


"Cataclysm" is a disaster of a movie. Most of the actors are terrible (Mitchell, Bristol, and Moll being the only exceptions), the storyline is confused (although it is less confused than the boiled-down version of this film that was featured in anthology film "Night Train to Terror") and the film is padded to a degree that has rarely been seen (with the nightmares suffered by Claire being especially annoying s far as that goes). Although the script tackles some interesting issues--God and faith, the nature of evil--its quality is obscured by bad artistic and technical choices on the part of the editor and director, and truly awful delivery of the lines on the part of most of the actors. Faith Clift, who is called upon to carry much of the movie is especially awful.

And then there's the inclusion of the Nazi angle. I don't doubt that an immortal devil would be involved with the likes of Hitler and his gang of loonies, but would he really be so stupid so as to be a hands-on kinda guy? At the rate the Nazis liked to turn on their own, he would be better off as a quiet manipulator instead of an SS officer who runs around machine-gunning Jews. (The whole Nazi angle doesn't add much to the film beyond distraction anyway. It might have been a stronger film if the whole plot with Cameron Mitchell and the Holocaust survivor had been dropped entirely. Or saved for a different movie.)

As far as I know, this full-length version of the film is only available on DVD in multipacks--such as large collections like the "Nightmare Worlds 50 Movie Pack". In most cases, there will be enough other films for this one to not be that big a deal, but I would not recommend spending money on a stand-alone version. (And I'd save this one until you've watched everything else in the set.)

'Nine Lives' isn't worth part of one life

Nine Lives (2002)
Starring: Amelia Warner, David Nicolle, and Paris Hilton
Director: Andrew Green
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A group of idle rich college friends get together at a remote Scottish manor house to celebrate a birthday party. However, when one of them discovers an old book that has been hidden for centuries, a restless, murderous spirit is unleashed. One by one, the friends start dying.


"Nine Lives" had the potential to be at the very least an average slasherflick. It's got a great location, it's got a cast of talented young actors and actresses (although Paris Hilton basically seems to be playing herself... but she does a better job at it than, oh, 50 Cent did), and it's got an interesting threat. However, just about everything about the film is executed badly, and the result if a movie that's more boring than scary.

Every horror film has to have pointless bickering among the characters, but in "Nine Lives", the pointless bickering is excessive, repetative, and drones on and on and on. The film relies more on Stupid Character Syndrome (where characters do idiotic things because if they didn't, the plot would grind to a halt and everyone would be safe from the monster) than any other movie I think I've seen. A couple of the worst examples:

*The characters think a room that's got giant windows and French doors along the entire outer wall is a safe place to "lock" themselves in.

*They IMMEDIATELY split up into small groups to search the house, and the idiocy that is compounded upon this is so gross that words fail me).

Aside from inadvertantly painting its protaganists as Gold Medal winners in the Upperclass Twit Olympics, the script for "Nine Lives" has the further problem of not explaining the "why" of the angry ghost. How did it come to be in the book? How did being housed in burned out pages relate to his eyes being plucked out and force-fed to him? Who made the book? (The implication is that it was the Angry Ghost himself, but that makes absolutely no sense.) How did reading it release the Angry Ghost? Why did it jump from person to person in the way that it did? Why did the screenwriter not bother giving the Angry Ghost some personality toward the end? Did the filmmakers really think the voice-over bit in the end was a decent wrap-up to the film, or make any sense as to what came before it?

"Nine Lives" also commits one of the greatest sins of the modern slasher flick: It has boring kills. Characters get stabbed, they fall down, and they die. That's it. That's simply not good enough, iif you already have a story that relies on the characters being braindead to work and you have a killer than makes Michael Myers look like he has a magnetic personality.

Like so many substandard horror movies, "Nine Lives" is first and foremost a parade of missed opportunities. It's particularly sad to see it happen here, because of the good cast and the nice set-up.

the smell of exam death.

did i mention i HATE exams?

oh, u hate them too?

kesian u, kesian me, kesian both of us loh..

the WORST part is WAITING for exams to come..the agony of studying and the anguish of waiting for that dreaded moment.

once seated in the exam hall, suddenly its all ok.

if u know how to write just write like a mad person fighting time. if dunno wat shit the question is asking then crap and lie naturally like eating rice and drinking water. 

for those who cant crap there are 3 options.

option 1, seduce the lecturer and make him give u an A no matter wat

option 2, dont give a damn and pass up a shinning white answer booklet to the examiner proud of ur brain capacity.

option 3, cry like shit and kill urself.

hahaha..dont try any of these at home.

getting very stress about the waiting part.

hate it very much. very constipated now (literally and metaphorically)

20, 26,27,28 April and 5 May. these are the CURSE DATES.

pray for me.please?  i need tons of it =)

in these bad times of emotional turmoil i need my comforting mummy whom i made look like "LAO FU ZE" comic strip. HAHAHAHAHAA 

Reluctant psychic enters 'The Dead Zone'

The Dead Zone (1983)
Starring: Christopher Walken, Tom Skerritt, Brooke Adams, and Martin Sheen
Director: David Cronenberg
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

Johnny Smith (Walken) awakens from a five-year coma to discover he has psychic abilities, which he gets visions of the past, present and a terribly deadly future. He uses his new powers to help a sheriff (Skerritt) to solve a murder and to save a life, but his visions tell him that nothing he does will matter unless he manages to stop Greg Stillson (Sheen) from gaining the US presidency--because Stillson will bring about a nucular holocaust.


"The Dead Zone" is one of the very best Stephen King adaptations (and the novel upon which it is based happens to be one of his very best books). The director does a spectacular job, especially in the area of using visuals and sound effects to pull the viewer into Johnny's psychic visions. The cast is also perfect, with Walken really shining as the tragic psychic who wants nothing than to just have his old life back, but who has to face a destiny that is being thrust upon him.





(An amusing side note is that Martin Sheen did become president on the TV series "The West Wing".)

Saturday Scream Queen:Natasha Henstridge

Model-turned-actress Natasha Henstridge made her mark on horror films not as a screamer but by causing the screaming in her role as the beautiful-but-deadly monster in the three Species movies.

Henstridge continues to devide her time between modeling and acting, appearing in a mixture of films and television series.

TENSION-nyer!

i wish i had no NOSE! just a hole in my face. then i'll look like them!! that would be cool huh?

its the dreaded exam season (sounds of horror background music plays eerily)


i'm trying very hard to study with sinus doesn't only drool out goob from my nose but it makes ur whole face swollen and puffy giving that congested feel and worst gives a bad side headache near the ears due to pressure.
pity the tissue papers i have blown and wasted.
my nose is not environmentally friendly.

seriously, being so handicapped i'm getting STRESSED cause i'm behind reading..
oh god..please TIME WARP me 1 year ahead! i dont need all this crap...just bring me to graduation day...

Feliz Aniversário, Emma Watson!

A atriz Emma Watson, que compõe o trio principal de atores no elenco de Harry Potter, veterana presente desde 2000 como a Hermione Granger, está completando hoje 20 anos de idade. Ela vem se tornando uma estrela que ultrapassou as fronteiras artísticas, expandindo seu talento para o mundo da moda e se tornando fonte de grande inspiração para fãs no mundo todo.
Emma dá vida a Hermione do jeito que a autora J.K. Rowling tinha em mente quando a caracterizou nos livros: esperta, aborrecida, corajosa e uma ótima amiga. Sua relação com a personagem é bastante íntima, uma vez que ela já afirmou que a Hermione tem muito de si.
Além de Harry Potter, o drama Dançando para a Vida (Ballet Shoes) produzido pela BBC proporcionou a ela em 2007 uma experiência muito diferente de Harry Potter, assim como seu trabalho de dublagem no filme O Corajoso Ratinho Despereaux, lançado no ano passado.
Atualmente ela está finalizando as filmagens de Harry Potter e as Relíquias da Morte – Parte I & II, e também frequentando à Universidade.
Desejamos a ela um feliz aniversário, que seu talento possa render uma grande carreira artística!
Feliz aniversário, Emma Watson!

Kristen Sobre Bella Beijar Jacob: Foi Estranho

Na edição da revista Entertainment Weekly que mostra os filmes mais aguardados do verão, temos um preview de Kristen Stewart falando sobre como foi estranho beijar Taylor Lautner, ao interpretar Bella Swan em Eclipse.

Para Kristen Stewart, que reprisa seu papel como Bella em Twilight: Eclipse, beijar seu colega 

Taylor Lautner (que interpreta seu amigo Jacob) foi estranho – não apenas porque ela pensa em 

Lautner como seu irmão mais novo, mas porque o coração de Bella pertence totalmente ao 

vampiro gostosão Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson). “Foi uma sensação realmente esquisita beijar 

outra pessoa interpretando Bella,” disse Stewart. “Eu estava tipo, ‘Que diabos você está 

fazendo?’ Foi uma experiência realmente estranha – como deveria ter sido.”

Mas a pergunta que não quer calar, principalmente depois daquela cena no quarto em Lua Nova onde ela tirou 

uma cascona do Taycob: foi estranho pra melhor ou pra pior, hein? ;D

Fonte: popwath

BODOH RACIST BLOG

today i read a really shitty piece of news i would like to share with u pepz.

reading it just makes my blood boil at the ignorance and down right idoricasy of this bas**rd.

oh and be sure to leave a nice comment after u have read what other malaysians wrote. very entertaining tho! =)

BODOH RACIST BLOG

Bikers seek immortality through Satan!

Psychomania (aka "Death Wheelers", "The Living Dead" and "The Frog") (1973)
Starring: Nicky Henson, Mary Larkin, Robert Hardy, Ann Michelle, Beryl Reid and George Sanders
Director: Don Sharp
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When Tom (Henson), the spoiled blue-blood leader of a small-town British motorcycle gang, discovers the secret of eternal life after death from his spiritualist mother (Reid) and her strange butler (Sanders), he and his fellow thugs truly come to resemble the name of their gang... The Living Dead.


"Psychomania" (also known under the far more sensible title "Death Wheelers" or "The Living Dead") is a general round-up of popular early 1970s movie genre cliches (we got anarchistic bikers, sinister cultists, vaguely corrupt authorities, and more ugly fashions and go-go boots than you'd think could ever be featured in one movie) and a spoof that's played so straight that it goes over the heads of many viewers. It's a B-movie that satirizes B-movies with such subtlety that most watchers don't get it.

I can see why many viewers might miss the fact that this is a comedy. The only overtly funny moments are the various suicides the bikers commit so they may rise again as undead, and the scene where a bystander asks a desk Sergeant at the police station if he wants her to close the door on her way out... after two bikers just drove their motorcycles through the doors and into the lobby. The rest of the humor arises from the hodge-podge of the various cinematic cliches that are paraded before us.

On the other hand, this could be an example of "accidental art", but if it is, then this is one of those films that's truly "so bad it's good". I don't this is the case, though, as there are too many things about the movie that are clearly done very competently. The film features a few nicely done cinematic flourishes and tricky camera pans, such as when Tom enters the mysterious room in his mother's house and finds himself trapped; and when the police inspector (Hardy) sets a trap for the Living Dead at the morgue. It also has a surprisingly well-done musical score for its soundtrack. Most British horror films of this type had awful music... but here, we have a nice rockin' guitar-driven theme that captures both the biker motif and is creepy enough to also underscore the horror aspect of the film.

Whether it's a horror movie gone awry, or a subtle spoof that most viewers don't get, I think this film would be a great addition to any Bad Movie Night line-up. I also think that anyone who enjoys low-budget British horror and suspense movies from the 1960s and 1970s will get a kick out of it as well.