i figured it out!

Hi dear readers.

i just dawned upon something so drastic n important i needed to share it out loud.

remember the time u fought with ur sibling or fren in tadika/primary school over something really silly.

"neh neh i got one u dont have" kinda snickering n squabbling n yelling would happen all over n over?

After a long talk with Elene last night i realise the REASON i'm so madly infatuated (deeply missing n loving) Mr.X is because whatever i do i cannot make him mine! its just like a child begging for a toy in the toyshop. He shouts, jumps kicks n yells for the toy until his parents get him what he wants. Once he owns the toy, there is no joy in it because the "WANTING" phase is gone. the "exciting " part of demanding attention is gone.

Lo and behold i AM THAT IRRITATING lil child.

i've been wanting him to notice me n care n love me back because i cannot have him.

with other guys its easy, i make my move n pop i have it in my hands.

its exciting and driving me crazy cause i'm NOT GETTING wat i want.

Gosh..when it dawned upon me yesterday i realise the ROOT PROBLEM of my madness.

thank u Elene for waking me up.

Oh trust me, the grass is never greener on the other side. once u cross it u will look again for greener pastures. For my case once i get a guy/bf i will always see other guys as better, nicer, more qualified. yes i'm a green eyed monster.

Ah..at last i know whats wrong with me.

its just plain childishness taking over.

case can half closed. i can now push the fairtytale illogical ideas to the grave. rest in peace. amen.