horseradish is bittersweet

Today as i was halfway mugging i sat down n wondered. i wondered whether my friends (suddenly become nice) come to me sincerely or just wanna misuse my kindness? how do u draw the lines between friends for benefit, real friends and fake friends?

whenever i have this sick doubt in my gut whether ppl are using me, playing me out..

then i remember what my mom always said always "give people the benefit of the doubt"

 give, help and love even though there is no assurance or repay or anything good for ur own benefit.

Even if people are not sincere you yourself have to have clear conscience to be sincere for everything u do, act as if doing for the Lord.

So, whether ppl have good or bad intentions against you, that is between them and God.

I have grown up seeing her generosity from the purest of heart ;lending money, offering shelter and feeding all those who were both deserving n undeserving.

 sometimes i ask WHY SO NICE FOR WHAT and get angry but now as i grow up i understand..

 and i think i can let go of that doubt in my heart.Call us stupid or naive but this is one morale trait from mom i respect n salute n aim to emulate.

 Helping within my own means will not die wan. Imagine if that one person i didn't help was an angel in disguise or a person really praying for help and i DENIED that person a better life. How could i ever answer God during judgement day if he asks "WHY DIDNT U LEND A HELPING HAND WHEN I HAVE SHOWN U LOVE N MERCY?" imagine the shame n remorse i would feel at that moment.
For now i will hold on to this : "giving is really better than receiving". Thank u God for opening my eyes.