BEST FART JOKES!!

HELLO DEAR READERS!

today my bro told me a lame joke then farted in my face(he is forgiven cause we share the same DNA- if i dont know u so well dont u dare fart in my face like ever!) so i decided to blog about fart jokes for the fun of it!

WHEN YOU SHOULD NEVER FART:
1. Inside a crowded Lift.
2. Inside a public library.
3. On a crowded train.
4. Whilst giving a speech.
5. In Church.
6. Whilst on a date.
7. In a packed lecture theatre.
8. In your office.
9. At a cinema.
10. In a walk-in freezer - it'll linger a while 
11. In a ticket line.
13. On an airplane.
14. During confession 
15. In the bed, whilst feeling frisky.
16. In bed when you're feeling frisky 
17. While fighting fire in a burning building 
19. In a patrol car for a minor violation 

WHEN TO FART:
1. Bosses office as you are about to leave. - best to make sure it's silent but violent.
2. In a bathroom.
3. In the cashiers line - it's bound to speed things up.
4. The empty elevator before you get off.
5. Beside an occupied dressing room - no doubt it'll quickly become unnocupied.
6. Your co-workers cubicle at the office.
7. When deep sea diving.
8. Back seat of the Police Mobile after being arrested.
9. In your car if you've been carjacked.
10. During a pie eating competition to distract your competitors.

Two guys are in a locker room when one notices the other has a cork up his ass. He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a Big Fella in a turban came oozing out. He said, "I am Tonto, Indian Genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No sh*t."

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

You know, one time I farted so badly that I had to spend 15 years in jail....for air pollution.

What is the sharpest thing in the world? 
A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.

REVENGE IS SWEET

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years.

Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance.

"You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained.

After a particularly bad week the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse.

While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream.

Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs.

"You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"

SO if u ever wanna fart next time, do it discretly n dont bomb on other poor unsuspecting victims! haha..thats all for fart jokes! have a good day after the good laugh!! :) ;)