This page is dedicated to my dad. The earthly one that is ;)
Essay from the 12 year old inner child in me: MY FATHER
My name is Sandra Cheah Hui Ting. I hate my last name. My friends laugh at me because it sounds like a bell- “ting tong”. I got the middle name from my father; his name is Mr. Cheah Lef Ngan. My grandma said his name sounds funny because the clerk at some office wrote it wrongly on the birth cert. Such a peculiar thing, I thought all names were typed into a computer and saved into the IC chip?
My dad is tall and strong and has a lot of black hair on his head. I think he is the most handsome man on earth! He is quite dark compared to my mom who is fair. My dad doesn’t like to talk a lot in public. When he does talk, he thinks very long before saying anything. He has wrinkles on his forehead when he thinks too hard. Maybe that’s why he has so few buddies and never goes to mamak. My dad is a very smart guy. My mom said he graduated with some 1st class honours thing from his University Malaya. I saw his graduation picture. He and grandma were smiling and looking very happy. I guess he scored many A’s and got a good report card! Oh ya, he look very thin in the picture. Probably he was too stressed with exams and forgot to eat.
He is very good at fixing things at home. The toilet, the lightbulbs, the alarm, the switches, the tv and everything. He also builds cupboards, shelves, remote control holder, shoe rack, short chairs and many other furniture. Daddy just draws out on paper then starts hammering at the wood. He never learnt it before but he just knows how to do it! He is the 
SUPERHERO in my life!
My dad can be funny at times too! He tries to tell us jokes but his jokes are so lame and sometimes I don’t catch it. He tells jokes with a serious face. When daddy is in a good mood he likes to pat our heads and blow into our face. He thinks it’s a cute thing to do but I find it quite irritating especially when my hair is pretty and he messes it up. He sings in a funny tone that sounds a little bit like a frog singing. Maybe his school never had kelas muzik in his time so he didn’t learn. Haha..shh, don’t tell daddy I told u this.
Daddy thought me how to ride my bicycle without the small wheels and I waved to him when I could cycle on my own (free hands!). Sometimes daddy is good to me because at dinner time he will peel the fish bones and give me the boneless part. He also gives me the best chicken part that I like. When I was younger, occasionally daddy would bring me to KFC and I would jump for joy!! ( KFC is nicer than A&W). I know daddy didn’t eat because he wants to save money so he just watches me eat my snack plate( 2 chicken, bun, coleslaw and mash potato- YUMMY!). I remember laughing a lot because I was very happy.
He is a principal in a secondary school (that is where I wanna go when I grow up). He goes to school very early and I don’t see him until almost dinnertime. He drives a big car but he drives it so very slow~~. I don’t understand why he is so nice to the students in school but so strict with us at home. Cannot on TV, cannot talk on phone, cannot on computer, cannot on air con, cannot talk loud loud. This cannot that cannot. Everything also cannot. My dad likes to keep things neat and tidy. He would nag us if we messed up our rooms or the living hall.
Many things changed after I had my 2 younger brothers. Daddy has less time for me now. He seems so busy I don’t want to disturb him. We don’t go to KFC anymore. I have to share my toys and space with my brothers. I have to babysit them when daddy and mummy go for CG or meetings. Suddenly there are so many responsibilities. If my baby brother runs and fall down I get the blame and get hit for no reason. But why, it’s not my fault also? Many times I get scolded for the things my brothers have done. Secretly I wish my brothers never came into my life. Sometimes they make me so angry I feel like killing them! But sometimes I love them because they are so cute. I don’t mind doing all the “jie jie” things that but I wish I didn’t have to share daddy and mommy time and attention. I miss the times when life was happier just the 3 of us.
I don’t remember dad remembering my tuition days, sport day or taking my report card or taking notice of my friends. He doesn’t read me books before I sleep or puts a wet towel on my head when I’m sick. Mummy knows everything, mummy does everything. Sometimes I wish he would come pick me from school or see my teacher on report card day. Every time I bring the report card back home his face would be expressionless and say-“u could do better. Stop wasting ur time playing and study more”.
I wish dad would say “well done girl, I know u did your best, keep up the good job” but he never said that in all my years of schooling. He never hugged me willingly or asked me how my day was. Sometimes I come home sad and I want to tell him the painful things in my heart but I don’t know how to tell him. What if I get more scolding? His motto was to “study study and do extremely well academically” maybe he was very clever so he expects me to be clever? I don’t understand what that has got to do with him showing me a little care and concern? I’m so jealous when I see my friend’s fathers who play with them, take them on holidays and fetch them from school with smiling faces. Their dads are so cool. My dad rarely smiles at me.
In conclusion, when I grow up, I want to marry a man like daddy. Smart, handsome, God loving, strong and good. I pray for my daddy every day. I know he sacrifices a lot of me and our family. He tries to be the best man he can be. Deep inside I think he loves me too but he never shows it on the outside.
At night before I sleep I close my eyes , put my hands together and talk to God. I pray so hard that God will give him good health take away his high blood thing, make him richer so he can buy me pretty dresses, give him less work so he won’t be angry all the time, give him more relax time to play and talk to me. My greatest wish is that daddy can live long long and come for my graduation in university ( that’s where I’m going when I ‘m bigger). Then I would work hard and become rich so that I can send daddy and mommy to holiday. I heard mommy telling me once they never travel far before.
I think if I can make daddy happy, he would see how much I love him. So now I will study hard and be on my best behavior. I want to become the cleverest girl in class because I want to make daddy proud of me. It’s so very hard but I will not give up. i love u daddy, i really do. I will do all in my might to prove to you that i'm your perfect little girl. God please please please answer my prayers. Amen...
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